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1Our society places a high value on physical beauty. Americans spend an average of over $722 each year on their
2appearance. One in ten Americans has tried to look like a star. There 9s nothing wrong with trying to look our best, but
3excessive focus on physical appearance misses the soulful aspects of what it means to be beautiful. Trying to look like
4the magazine pictures can take us on a long ride away from what beauty is really about. Many of us spend far too much
5time, energy, and money trying to polish an image of what we think will bring attention, love, and connection. In the
6process, we may fail to attend to ourselves in a way that would move us toward deeper intimacy, fulfillment, and
7meaning. It may sound trite (老生常谈的)，but beauty is only skin deep; ifs not what brings love toward us. Just read about
8the latest Hollywood starlets whose seeming love turns into resentment and bitter court battles. Outer beauty can be as
9much of a curse as a blessing. We may develop a habit of being so focused on maintaining a perfect appearance that we
10never cultivate the inner qualities necessary to sustain and deepen intimacy and connection. As I describe in my book,
11The Authentic Heart, it is the courage to be authentic that connects us in a deeper way. While our initial attraction
12may be based, in part, on physical chemistry, it is the meeting of our inner worlds that creates the lasting intimacy
13and spiritual connection for which we long. If we redirect our attention toward cultivating inner qualities, we might
14find a magnetic attraction that moves us from something superficial to something that connects us to our depths. The
15path toward cultivating inner beauty is really simple. But what is simple is not always easy. Not everyone will see us
16and appreciate us as we take the courageous risk to allow ourselves to be seen as we really are. But if they don't, it
17is their loss, not ours. Eventually we'll find those compatible souls who appreciate us as we are.
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