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1With those words, he released me--which I was glad of, for his hand smelt of scented soap--and went his way downstairs.
2I wondered whether he could be a doctor; but no, I thought; he couldn't be a doctor, or he would have a quieter and more
3persuasive manner. There was not much time to consider the subject, for we were soon in Miss Havisham's room, where she
4and everything else were just as I had left them. Estella left me standing near the door, and I stood there until Miss
5Havisham cast her eyes upon me from the dressing-table. "So!" she said, without being startled or surprised: "the days
6have worn away, have they?" "Yes, ma'am. To-day is--" "There, there, there!" with the impatient movement of her fingers.
7"I don't want to know. Are you ready to play?" I was obliged to answer in some confusion, "I don't think I am, ma'am."
8"Not at cards again?" she demanded, with a searching look. "Yes, ma'am; I could do that, if I was wanted." "Since this
9house strikes you old and grave, boy," said Miss Havisham, impatiently, "and you are unwilling to play, are you willing
10to work?" I could answer this inquiry with a better heart than I had been able to find for the other question, and I
11said I was quite willing. "Then go into that opposite room," said she, pointing at the door behind me with her withered
12hand, "and wait there till I come." I crossed the staircase landing, and entered the room she indicated. From that room,
13too, the daylight was completely excluded, and it had an airless smell that was oppressive. A fire had been lately
14kindled in the damp old-fashioned grate, and it was more disposed to go out than to burn up, and the reluctant smoke
15which hung in the room seemed colder than the clearer air,--like our own marsh mist. Certain wintry branches of candles
16on the high chimney-piece faintly lighted the chamber; or it would be more expressive to say, faintly troubled its
17darkness. It was spacious, and I dare say had once been handsome, but every discernible thing in it was covered with
18dust and mould, and dropping to pieces. The most prominent object was a long table with a tablecloth spread on it, as if
19a feast had been in preparation when the house and the clocks all stopped together. An epergne or centre-piece of some
20kind was in the middle of this cloth; it was so heavily overhung with cobwebs that its form was quite undistinguishable;
21and, as I looked along the yellow expanse out of which I remember its seeming to grow, like a black fungus, I saw
22speckle-legged spiders with blotchy bodies running home to it, and running out from it, as if some circumstances of the
23greatest public importance had just transpired in the spider community. I heard the mice too, rattling behind the
24panels, as if the same occurrence were important to their interests. But the black beetles took no notice of the
25agitation, and groped about the hearth in a ponderous elderly way, as if they were short-sighted and hard of hearing,
26and not on terms with one another. These crawling things had fascinated my attention, and I was watching them from a
27distance, when Miss Havisham laid a hand upon my shoulder. In her other hand she had a crutch-headed stick on which she
28leaned, and she looked like the Witch of the place. "This," said she, pointing to the long table with her stick, "is
29where I will be laid when I am dead. They shall come and look at me here." With some vague misgiving that she might get
30upon the table then and there and die at once, the complete realisation of the ghastly waxwork at the Fair, I shrank
31under her touch. "What do you think that is?" she asked me, again pointing with her stick; "that, where those cobwebs
32are?" "I can't guess what it is, ma'am." "It's a great cake. A bride-cake. Mine!" She looked all round the room in a
33glaring manner, and then said, leaning on me while her hand twitched my shoulder, "Come, come, come! Walk me, walk me!"
34I made out from this, that the work I had to do, was to walk Miss Havisham round and round the room. Accordingly, I
35started at once, and she leaned upon my shoulder, and we went away at a pace that might have been an imitation (founded
36on my first impulse under that roof) of Mr. Pumblechook's chaise-cart. She was not physically strong, and after a little
37time said, "Slower!" Still, we went at an impatient fitful speed, and as we went, she twitched the hand upon my
38shoulder, and worked her mouth, and led me to believe that we were going fast because her thoughts went fast. After a
39while she said, "Call Estella!" so I went out on the landing and roared that name as I had done on the previous
40occasion. When her light appeared, I returned to Miss Havisham, and we started away again round and round the room. If
41only Estella had come to be a spectator of our proceedings, I should have felt sufficiently discontented; but as she
42brought with her the three ladies and the gentleman whom I had seen below, I didn't know what to do. In my politeness, I
43would have stopped; but Miss Havisham twitched my shoulder, and we posted on,--with a shame-faced consciousness on my
44part that they would think it was all my doing. "Dear Miss Havisham," said Miss Sarah Pocket. "How well you look!" "I do
45not," returned Miss Havisham. "I am yellow skin and bone." Camilla brightened when Miss Pocket met with this rebuff; and
46she murmured, as she plaintively contemplated Miss Havisham, "Poor dear soul! Certainly not to be expected to look well,
47poor thing. The idea!" "And how are you?" said Miss Havisham to Camilla. As we were close to Camilla then, I would have
48stopped as a matter of course, only Miss Havisham wouldn't stop. We swept on, and I felt that I was highly obnoxious to
49Camilla. "Thank you, Miss Havisham," she returned, "I am as well as can be expected." "Why, what's the matter with you?"
50asked Miss Havisham, with exceeding sharpness. "Nothing worth mentioning," replied Camilla. "I don't wish to make a
51display of my feelings, but I have habitually thought of you more in the night than I am quite equal to." "Then don't
52think of me," retorted Miss Havisham. "Very easily said!" remarked Camilla, amiably repressing a sob, while a hitch came
53into her upper lip, and her tears overflowed. "Raymond is a witness what ginger and sal volatile I am obliged to take in
54the night. Raymond is a witness what nervous jerkings I have in my legs. Chokings and nervous jerkings, however, are
55nothing new to me when I think with anxiety of those I love. If I could be less affectionate and sensitive, I should
56have a better digestion and an iron set of nerves. I am sure I wish it could be so. But as to not thinking of you in the
57night--The idea!" Here, a burst of tears. The Raymond referred to, I understood to be the gentleman present, and him I
58understood to be Mr. Camilla. He came to the rescue at this point, and said in a consolatory and complimentary voice,
59"Camilla, my dear, it is well known that your family feelings are gradually undermining you to the extent of making one
60of your legs shorter than the other." "I am not aware," observed the grave lady whose voice I had heard but once, "that
61to think of any person is to make a great claim upon that person, my dear." Miss Sarah Pocket, whom I now saw to be a
62little dry, brown, corrugated old woman, with a small face that might have been made of walnut-shells, and a large mouth
63like a cat's without the whiskers, supported this position by saying, "No, indeed, my dear. Hem!" "Thinking is easy
64enough," said the grave lady. "What is easier, you know?" assented Miss Sarah Pocket. "Oh, yes, yes!" cried Camilla,
65whose fermenting feelings appeared to rise from her legs to her bosom. "It's all very true! It's a weakness to be so
66affectionate, but I can't help it. No doubt my health would be much better if it was otherwise, still I wouldn't change
67my disposition if I could. It's the cause of much suffering, but it's a consolation to know I possess it, when I wake up
68in the night." Here another burst of feeling. Miss Havisham and I had never stopped all this time, but kept going round
69and round the room; now brushing against the skirts of the visitors, now giving them the whole length of the dismal
70chamber.
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