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1I again warmly repeated that it was a bad side of human nature (in which sentiment, waiving its application, I have
2since seen reason to think I was right), and I walked down the little path away from Biddy, and Biddy went into the
3house, and I went out at the garden gate and took a dejected stroll until supper-time; again feeling it very sorrowful
4and strange that this, the second night of my bright fortunes, should be as lonely and unsatisfactory as the first. But,
5morning once more brightened my view, and I extended my clemency to Biddy, and we dropped the subject. Putting on the
6best clothes I had, I went into town as early as I could hope to find the shops open, and presented myself before Mr.
7Trabb, the tailor, who was having his breakfast in the parlour behind his shop, and who did not think it worth his while
8to come out to me, but called me in to him. "Well!" said Mr. Trabb, in a hail-fellow-well-met kind of way. "How are you,
9and what can I do for you?" Mr. Trabb had sliced his hot roll into three feather-beds, and was slipping butter in
10between the blankets, and covering it up. He was a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a prosperous
11little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous iron safe let into the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I
12did not doubt that heaps of his prosperity were put away in it in bags. "Mr. Trabb," said I, "it's an unpleasant thing
13to have to mention, because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome property." A change passed over Mr.
14Trabb. He forgot the butter in bed, got up from the bedside, and wiped his fingers on the tablecloth, exclaiming, "Lord
15bless my soul!" "I am going up to my guardian in London," said I, casually drawing some guineas out of my pocket and
16looking at them; "and I want a fashionable suit of clothes to go in. I wish to pay for them," I added--otherwise I
17thought he might only pretend to make them, "with ready money." "My dear sir," said Mr. Trabb, as he respectfully bent
18his body, opened his arms, and took the liberty of touching me on the outside of each elbow, "don't hurt me by
19mentioning that. May I venture to congratulate you? Would you do me the favour of stepping into the shop?" Mr. Trabb's
20boy was the most audacious boy in all that country-side. When I had entered he was sweeping the shop, and he had
21sweetened his labours by sweeping over me. He was still sweeping when I came out into the shop with Mr. Trabb, and he
22knocked the broom against all possible corners and obstacles, to express (as I understood it) equality with any
23blacksmith, alive or dead. "Hold that noise," said Mr. Trabb, with the greatest sternness, "or I'll knock your head
24off!--Do me the favour to be seated, sir. Now, this," said Mr. Trabb, taking down a roll of cloth, and tiding it out in
25a flowing manner over the counter, preparatory to getting his hand under it to show the gloss, "is a very sweet article.
26I can recommend it for your purpose, sir, because it really is extra super. But you shall see some others. Give me
27Number Four, you!" (To the boy, and with a dreadfully severe stare; foreseeing the danger of that miscreant's brushing
28me with it, or making some other sign of familiarity.) Mr. Trabb never removed his stern eye from the boy until he had
29deposited number four on the counter and was at a safe distance again. Then he commanded him to bring number five, and
30number eight. "And let me have none of your tricks here," said Mr. Trabb, "or you shall repent it, you young scoundrel,
31the longest day you have to live." Mr. Trabb then bent over number four, and in a sort of deferential confidence
32recommended it to me as a light article for summer wear, an article much in vogue among the nobility and gentry, an
33article that it would ever be an honour to him to reflect upon a distinguished fellow-townsman's (if he might claim me
34for a fellow-townsman) having worn. "Are you bringing numbers five and eight, you vagabond," said Mr. Trabb to the boy
35after that, "or shall I kick you out of the shop and bring them myself?" I selected the materials for a suit, with the
36assistance of Mr. Trabb's judgment, and re-entered the parlour to be measured. For although Mr. Trabb had my measure
37already, and had previously been quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it "wouldn't do under existing
38circumstances, sir,--wouldn't do at all." So, Mr. Trabb measured and calculated me in the parlour, as if I were an
39estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of
40clothes could possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles to
41Mr. Pumblechook's on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlour lock, "I know, sir, that London
42gentlemen cannot be expected to patronise local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then in the
43quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good-morning, sir, much obliged.--Door!" The last word was flung at
44the boy, who had not the least notion what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out with his hands,
45and my first decided experience of the stupendous power of money was, that it had morally laid upon his back Trabb's
46boy. After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the bootmaker's, and the hosier's, and felt rather like
47Mother Hubbard's dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades. I also went to the coach-office and took my
48place for seven o'clock on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere that I had come into a handsome
49property; but whenever I said anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman ceased to have his
50attention diverted through the window by the High Street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered
51everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook's, and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business,
52I saw him standing at his door. He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early with the chaise-cart,
53and had called at the forge and heard the news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlour, and he too
54ordered his shopman to "come out of the gangway" as my sacred person passed. "My dear friend," said Mr. Pumblechook,
55taking me by both hands, when he and I and the collation were alone, "I give you joy of your good fortune. Well
56deserved, well deserved!" This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of expressing himself. "To
57think," said Mr. Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me for some moments, "that I should have been the humble
58instrument of leading up to this, is a proud reward." I begged Mr. Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever
59said or hinted, on that point. "My dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook; "if you will allow me to call you so--" I
60murmured "Certainly," and Mr. Pumblechook took me by both hands again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat,
61which had an emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, "My dear young friend, rely upon my doing my little
62all in your absence, by keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph.--Joseph!" said Mr. Pumblechook, in the way of a
63compassionate adjuration. "Joseph!! Joseph!!!" Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing his sense of
64deficiency in Joseph. "But my dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, "you must be hungry, you must be exhausted. Be
65seated. Here is a chicken had round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar, here's one or two little
66things had round from the Boar, that I hope you may not despise. But do I," said Mr. Pumblechook, getting up again the
67moment after he had sat down, "see afore me, him as I ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I--may
68I--?" This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was fervent, and then sat down again.
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