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1We always derived profound satisfaction from making an appointment for this purpose. I always thought this was business,
2this was the way to confront the thing, this was the way to take the foe by the throat. And I know Herbert thought so
3too. We ordered something rather special for dinner, with a bottle of something similarly out of the common way, in
4order that our minds might be fortified for the occasion, and we might come well up to the mark. Dinner over, we
5produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and a goodly show of writing and blotting paper. For there was
6something very comfortable in having plenty of stationery. I would then take a sheet of paper, and write across the top
7of it, in a neat hand, the heading, "Memorandum of Pip's debts"; with Barnard's Inn and the date very carefully added.
8Herbert would also take a sheet of paper, and write across it with similar formalities, "Memorandum of Herbert's debts."
9Each of us would then refer to a confused heap of papers at his side, which had been thrown into drawers, worn into
10holes in pockets, half burnt in lighting candles, stuck for weeks into the looking-glass, and otherwise damaged. The
11sound of our pens going refreshed us exceedingly, insomuch that I sometimes found it difficult to distinguish between
12this edifying business proceeding and actually paying the money. In point of meritorious character, the two things
13seemed about equal. When we had written a little while, I would ask Herbert how he got on? Herbert probably would have
14been scratching his head in a most rueful manner at the sight of his accumulating figures. "They are mounting up,
15Handel," Herbert would say; "upon my life, they are mounting up." "Be firm, Herbert," I would retort, plying my own pen
16with great assiduity. "Look the thing in the face. Look into your affairs. Stare them out of countenance." "So I would,
17Handel, only they are staring me out of countenance." However, my determined manner would have its effect, and Herbert
18would fall to work again. After a time he would give up once more, on the plea that he had not got Cobbs's bill, or
19Lobbs's, or Nobbs's, as the case might be. "Then, Herbert, estimate; estimate it in round numbers, and put it down."
20"What a fellow of resource you are!" my friend would reply, with admiration. "Really your business powers are very
21remarkable." I thought so too. I established with myself, on these occasions, the reputation of a first-rate man of
22business,--prompt, decisive, energetic, clear, cool-headed. When I had got all my responsibilities down upon my list, I
23compared each with the bill, and ticked it off. My self-approval when I ticked an entry was quite a luxurious sensation.
24When I had no more ticks to make, I folded all my bills up uniformly, docketed each on the back, and tied the whole into
25a symmetrical bundle. Then I did the same for Herbert (who modestly said he had not my administrative genius), and felt
26that I had brought his affairs into a focus for him. My business habits had one other bright feature, which I called
27"leaving a Margin." For example; supposing Herbert's debts to be one hundred and sixty-four pounds four-and-twopence, I
28would say, "Leave a margin, and put them down at two hundred." Or, supposing my own to be four times as much, I would
29leave a margin, and put them down at seven hundred. I had the highest opinion of the wisdom of this same Margin, but I
30am bound to acknowledge that on looking back, I deem it to have been an expensive device. For, we always ran into new
31debt immediately, to the full extent of the margin, and sometimes, in the sense of freedom and solvency it imparted, got
32pretty far on into another margin. But there was a calm, a rest, a virtuous hush, consequent on these examinations of
33our affairs that gave me, for the time, an admirable opinion of myself. Soothed by my exertions, my method, and
34Herbert's compliments, I would sit with his symmetrical bundle and my own on the table before me among the stationery,
35and feel like a Bank of some sort, rather than a private individual. We shut our outer door on these solemn occasions,
36in order that we might not be interrupted. I had fallen into my serene state one evening, when we heard a letter dropped
37through the slit in the said door, and fall on the ground. "It's for you, Handel," said Herbert, going out and coming
38back with it, "and I hope there is nothing the matter." This was in allusion to its heavy black seal and border. The
39letter was signed Trabb & Co., and its contents were simply, that I was an honoured sir, and that they begged to inform
40me that Mrs. J. Gargery had departed this life on Monday last at twenty minutes past six in the evening, and that my
41attendance was requested at the interment on Monday next at three o'clock in the afternoon.
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