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1Miss Havisham's intentions towards me, all a mere dream; Estella not designed for me; I only suffered in Satis House as
2a convenience, a sting for the greedy relations, a model with a mechanical heart to practise on when no other practice
3was at hand; those were the first smarts I had. But, sharpest and deepest pain of all,--it was for the convict, guilty
4of I knew not what crimes, and liable to be taken out of those rooms where I sat thinking, and hanged at the Old Bailey
5door, that I had deserted Joe. I would not have gone back to Joe now, I would not have gone back to Biddy now, for any
6consideration; simply, I suppose, because my sense of my own worthless conduct to them was greater than every
7consideration. No wisdom on earth could have given me the comfort that I should have derived from their simplicity and
8fidelity; but I could never, never, undo what I had done. In every rage of wind and rush of rain, I heard pursuers.
9Twice, I could have sworn there was a knocking and whispering at the outer door. With these fears upon me, I began
10either to imagine or recall that I had had mysterious warnings of this man's approach. That, for weeks gone by, I had
11passed faces in the streets which I had thought like his. That these likenesses had grown more numerous, as he, coming
12over the sea, had drawn nearer. That his wicked spirit had somehow sent these messengers to mine, and that now on this
13stormy night he was as good as his word, and with me. Crowding up with these reflections came the reflection that I had
14seen him with my childish eyes to be a desperately violent man; that I had heard that other convict reiterate that he
15had tried to murder him; that I had seen him down in the ditch tearing and fighting like a wild beast. Out of such
16remembrances I brought into the light of the fire a half-formed terror that it might not be safe to be shut up there
17with him in the dead of the wild solitary night. This dilated until it filled the room, and impelled me to take a candle
18and go in and look at my dreadful burden. He had rolled a handkerchief round his head, and his face was set and lowering
19in his sleep. But he was asleep, and quietly too, though he had a pistol lying on the pillow. Assured of this, I softly
20removed the key to the outside of his door, and turned it on him before I again sat down by the fire. Gradually I
21slipped from the chair and lay on the floor. When I awoke without having parted in my sleep with the perception of my
22wretchedness, the clocks of the Eastward churches were striking five, the candles were wasted out, the fire was dead,
23and the wind and rain intensified the thick black darkness. THIS IS THE END OF THE SECOND STAGE OF PIP'S EXPECTATIONS.
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