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1When we got back again, and he lifted me out, and carried me--so easily!--across the court and up the stairs, I thought
2of that eventful Christmas Day when he had carried me over the marshes. We had not yet made any allusion to my change of
3fortune, nor did I know how much of my late history he was acquainted with. I was so doubtful of myself now, and put so
4much trust in him, that I could not satisfy myself whether I ought to refer to it when he did not. "Have you heard,
5Joe," I asked him that evening, upon further consideration, as he smoked his pipe at the window, "who my patron was?" "I
6heerd," returned Joe, "as it were not Miss Havisham, old chap." "Did you hear who it was, Joe?" "Well! I heerd as it
7were a person what sent the person what giv' you the bank-notes at the Jolly Bargemen, Pip." "So it was." "Astonishing!"
8said Joe, in the placidest way. "Did you hear that he was dead, Joe?" I presently asked, with increasing diffidence.
9"Which? Him as sent the bank-notes, Pip?" "Yes." "I think," said Joe, after meditating a long time, and looking rather
10evasively at the window-seat, "as I did hear tell that how he were something or another in a general way in that
11direction." "Did you hear anything of his circumstances, Joe?" "Not partickler, Pip." "If you would like to hear, Joe--"
12I was beginning, when Joe got up and came to my sofa. "Lookee here, old chap," said Joe, bending over me. "Ever the best
13of friends; ain't us, Pip?" I was ashamed to answer him. "Wery good, then," said Joe, as if I had answered; "that's all
14right; that's agreed upon. Then why go into subjects, old chap, which as betwixt two sech must be for ever onnecessary?
15There's subjects enough as betwixt two sech, without onnecessary ones. Lord! To think of your poor sister and her
16Rampages! And don't you remember Tickler?" "I do indeed, Joe." "Lookee here, old chap," said Joe. "I done what I could
17to keep you and Tickler in sunders, but my power were not always fully equal to my inclinations. For when your poor
18sister had a mind to drop into you, it were not so much," said Joe, in his favourite argumentative way, "that she
19dropped into me too, if I put myself in opposition to her, but that she dropped into you always heavier for it. I
20noticed that. It ain't a grab at a man's whisker, not yet a shake or two of a man (to which your sister was quite
21welcome), that 'ud put a man off from getting a little child out of punishment. But when that little child is dropped
22into heavier for that grab of whisker or shaking, then that man naterally up and says to himself, 'Where is the good as
23you are a-doing? I grant you I see the 'arm,' says the man, 'but I don't see the good. I call upon you, sir, therefore,
24to pint out the good.'" "The man says?" I observed, as Joe waited for me to speak. "The man says," Joe assented. "Is he
25right, that man?" "Dear Joe, he is always right." "Well, old chap," said Joe, "then abide by your words. If he's always
26right (which in general he's more likely wrong), he's right when he says this: Supposing ever you kep any little matter
27to yourself, when you was a little child, you kep it mostly because you know'd as J. Gargery's power to part you and
28Tickler in sunders were not fully equal to his inclinations. Theerfore, think no more of it as betwixt two sech, and do
29not let us pass remarks upon onnecessary subjects. Biddy giv' herself a deal o' trouble with me afore I left (for I am
30almost awful dull), as I should view it in this light, and, viewing it in this light, as I should so put it. Both of
31which," said Joe, quite charmed with his logical arrangement, "being done, now this to you a true friend, say. Namely.
32You mustn't go a overdoing on it, but you must have your supper and your wine and water, and you must be put betwixt the
33sheets." The delicacy with which Joe dismissed this theme, and the sweet tact and kindness with which Biddy--who with
34her woman's wit had found me out so soon--had prepared him for it, made a deep impression on my mind. But whether Joe
35knew how poor I was, and how my great expectations had all dissolved, like our own marsh mists before the sun, I could
36not understand. Another thing in Joe that I could not understand when it first began to develop itself, but which I soon
37arrived at a sorrowful comprehension of, was this: As I became stronger and better, Joe became a little less easy with
38me. In my weakness and entire dependence on him, the dear fellow had fallen into the old tone, and called me by the old
39names, the dear "old Pip, old chap," that now were music in my ears. I too had fallen into the old ways, only happy and
40thankful that he let me. But, imperceptibly, though I held by them fast, Joe's hold upon them began to slacken; and
41whereas I wondered at this, at first, I soon began to understand that the cause of it was in me, and that the fault of
42it was all mine. Ah! Had I given Joe no reason to doubt my constancy, and to think that in prosperity I should grow cold
43to him and cast him off? Had I given Joe's innocent heart no cause to feel instinctively that as I got stronger, his
44hold upon me would be weaker, and that he had better loosen it in time and let me go, before I plucked myself away? It
45was on the third or fourth occasion of my going out walking in the Temple Gardens leaning on Joe's arm, that I saw this
46change in him very plainly. We had been sitting in the bright warm sunlight, looking at the river, and I chanced to say
47as we got up,-- "See, Joe! I can walk quite strongly. Now, you shall see me walk back by myself." "Which do not overdo
48it, Pip," said Joe; "but I shall be happy fur to see you able, sir." The last word grated on me; but how could I
49remonstrate! I walked no further than the gate of the gardens, and then pretended to be weaker than I was, and asked Joe
50for his arm. Joe gave it me, but was thoughtful. I, for my part, was thoughtful too; for, how best to check this growing
51change in Joe was a great perplexity to my remorseful thoughts. That I was ashamed to tell him exactly how I was placed,
52and what I had come down to, I do not seek to conceal; but I hope my reluctance was not quite an unworthy one. He would
53want to help me out of his little savings, I knew, and I knew that he ought not to help me, and that I must not suffer
54him to do it. It was a thoughtful evening with both of us. But, before we went to bed, I had resolved that I would wait
55over to-morrow,--to-morrow being Sunday,--and would begin my new course with the new week. On Monday morning I would
56speak to Joe about this change, I would lay aside this last vestige of reserve, I would tell him what I had in my
57thoughts (that Secondly, not yet arrived at), and why I had not decided to go out to Herbert, and then the change would
58be conquered for ever. As I cleared, Joe cleared, and it seemed as though he had sympathetically arrived at a resolution
59too. We had a quiet day on the Sunday, and we rode out into the country, and then walked in the fields. "I feel thankful
60that I have been ill, Joe," I said. "Dear old Pip, old chap, you're a'most come round, sir." "It has been a memorable
61time for me, Joe." "Likeways for myself, sir," Joe returned. "We have had a time together, Joe, that I can never forget.
62There were days once, I know, that I did for a while forget; but I never shall forget these." "Pip," said Joe, appearing
63a little hurried and troubled, "there has been larks. And, dear sir, what have been betwixt us--have been." At night,
64when I had gone to bed, Joe came into my room, as he had done all through my recovery. He asked me if I felt sure that I
65was as well as in the morning? "Yes, dear Joe, quite." "And are always a getting stronger, old chap?" "Yes, dear Joe,
66steadily."
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