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1Edward remained a week at the cottage; he was earnestly pressed by Mrs. Dashwood to stay longer; but, as if he were bent
2only on self-mortification, he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height. His
3spirits, during the last two or three days, though still very unequal, were greatly improved--he grew more and more
4partial to the house and environs--never spoke of going away without a sigh--declared his time to be wholly
5disengaged--even doubted to what place he should go when he left them--but still, go he must. Never had any week passed
6so quickly--he could hardly believe it to be gone. He said so repeatedly; other things he said too, which marked the
7turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions. He had no pleasure at Norland; he detested being in town; but
8either to Norland or London, he must go. He valued their kindness beyond any thing, and his greatest happiness was in
9being with them. Yet, he must leave them at the end of a week, in spite of their wishes and his own, and without any
10restraint on his time. Elinor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother's account; and it was
11happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her, as to be the general excuse for
12every thing strange on the part of her son. Disappointed, however, and vexed as she was, and sometimes displeased with
13his uncertain behaviour to herself, she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid
14allowances and generous qualifications, which had been rather more painfully extorted from her, for Willoughby's
15service, by her mother. His want of spirits, of openness, and of consistency, were most usually attributed to his want
16of independence, and his better knowledge of Mrs. Ferrars's disposition and designs. The shortness of his visit, the
17steadiness of his purpose in leaving them, originated in the same fettered inclination, the same inevitable necessity of
18temporizing with his mother. The old well-established grievance of duty against will, parent against child, was the
19cause of all. She would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease, this opposition was to
20yield,--when Mrs. Ferrars would be reformed, and her son be at liberty to be happy. But from such vain wishes she was
21forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in Edward's affection, to the remembrance of every mark of
22regard in look or word which fell from him while at Barton, and above all to that flattering proof of it which he
23constantly wore round his finger. "I think, Edward," said Mrs. Dashwood, as they were at breakfast the last morning,
24"you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and
25actions. Some inconvenience to your friends, indeed, might result from it--you would not be able to give them so much of
26your time. But (with a smile) you would be materially benefited in one particular at least--you would know where to go
27when you left them." "I do assure you," he replied, "that I have long thought on this point, as you think now. It has
28been, and is, and probably will always be a heavy misfortune to me, that I have had no necessary business to engage me,
29no profession to give me employment, or afford me any thing like independence. But unfortunately my own nicety, and the
30nicety of my friends, have made me what I am, an idle, helpless being. We never could agree in our choice of a
31profession. I always preferred the church, as I still do. But that was not smart enough for my family. They recommended
32the army. That was a great deal too smart for me. The law was allowed to be genteel enough; many young men, who had
33chambers in the Temple, made a very good appearance in the first circles, and drove about town in very knowing gigs. But
34I had no inclination for the law, even in this less abstruse study of it, which my family approved. As for the navy, it
35had fashion on its side, but I was too old when the subject was first started to enter it--and, at length, as there was
36no necessity for my having any profession at all, as I might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back
37as with one, idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most advantageous and honourable, and a young man of eighteen is
38not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing. I was
39therefore entered at Oxford and have been properly idle ever since." "The consequence of which, I suppose, will be,"
40said Mrs. Dashwood, "since leisure has not promoted your own happiness, that your sons will be brought up to as many
41pursuits, employments, professions, and trades as Columella's." "They will be brought up," said he, in a serious accent,
42"to be as unlike myself as is possible. In feeling, in action, in condition, in every thing." "Come, come; this is all
43an effusion of immediate want of spirits, Edward. You are in a melancholy humour, and fancy that any one unlike yourself
44must be happy. But remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by every body at times, whatever be their
45education or state. Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience--or give it a more fascinating name, call it
46hope. Your mother will secure to you, in time, that independence you are so anxious for; it is her duty, and it will, it
47must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent. How much may not a few
48months do?" "I think," replied Edward, "that I may defy many months to produce any good to me." This desponding turn of
49mind, though it could not be communicated to Mrs. Dashwood, gave additional pain to them all in the parting, which
50shortly took place, and left an uncomfortable impression on Elinor's feelings especially, which required some trouble
51and time to subdue. But as it was her determination to subdue it, and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more
52than what all her family suffered on his going away, she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by Marianne,
53on a similar occasion, to augment and fix her sorrow, by seeking silence, solitude and idleness. Their means were as
54different as their objects, and equally suited to the advancement of each. Elinor sat down to her drawing-table as soon
55as he was out of the house, busily employed herself the whole day, neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name,
56appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family, and if, by this conduct, she
57did not lessen her own grief, it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase, and her mother and sisters were
58spared much solicitude on her account. Such behaviour as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more
59meritorious to Marianne, than her own had seemed faulty to her. The business of self-command she settled very
60easily;--with strong affections it was impossible, with calm ones it could have no merit. That her sister's affections
61were calm, she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of the strength of her own, she gave a very
62striking proof, by still loving and respecting that sister, in spite of this mortifying conviction. Without shutting
63herself up from her family, or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake the whole night to
64indulge meditation, Elinor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward, and of Edward's behaviour, in
65every possible variety which the different state of her spirits at different times could produce,--with tenderness,
66pity, approbation, censure, and doubt. There were moments in abundance, when, if not by the absence of her mother and
67sisters, at least by the nature of their employments, conversation was forbidden among them, and every effect of
68solitude was produced. Her mind was inevitably at liberty; her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere; and the past and
69the future, on a subject so interesting, must be before her, must force her attention, and engross her memory, her
70reflection, and her fancy.
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