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1How she should begin--how she should express herself in her note to Edward, was now all her concern. The particular
2circumstances between them made a difficulty of that which to any other person would have been the easiest thing in the
3world; but she equally feared to say too much or too little, and sat deliberating over her paper, with the pen in her
4hand, till broken in on by the entrance of Edward himself. He had met Mrs. Jennings at the door in her way to the
5carriage, as he came to leave his farewell card; and she, after apologising for not returning herself, had obliged him
6to enter, by saying that Miss Dashwood was above, and wanted to speak with him on very particular business. Elinor had
7just been congratulating herself, in the midst of her perplexity, that however difficult it might be to express herself
8properly by letter, it was at least preferable to giving the information by word of mouth, when her visitor entered, to
9force her upon this greatest exertion of all. Her astonishment and confusion were very great on his so sudden
10appearance. She had not seen him before since his engagement became public, and therefore not since his knowing her to
11be acquainted with it; which, with the consciousness of what she had been thinking of, and what she had to tell him,
12made her feel particularly uncomfortable for some minutes. He too was much distressed; and they sat down together in a
13most promising state of embarrassment.--Whether he had asked her pardon for his intrusion on first coming into the room,
14he could not recollect; but determining to be on the safe side, he made his apology in form as soon as he could say any
15thing, after taking a chair. "Mrs. Jennings told me," said he, "that you wished to speak with me, at least I understood
16her so--or I certainly should not have intruded on you in such a manner; though at the same time, I should have been
17extremely sorry to leave London without seeing you and your sister; especially as it will most likely be some time--it
18is not probable that I should soon have the pleasure of meeting you again. I go to Oxford tomorrow." "You would not have
19gone, however," said Elinor, recovering herself, and determined to get over what she so much dreaded as soon as
20possible, "without receiving our good wishes, even if we had not been able to give them in person. Mrs. Jennings was
21quite right in what she said. I have something of consequence to inform you of, which I was on the point of
22communicating by paper. I am charged with a most agreeable office (breathing rather faster than usual as she spoke.)
23Colonel Brandon, who was here only ten minutes ago, has desired me to say, that understanding you mean to take orders,
24he has great pleasure in offering you the living of Delaford now just vacant, and only wishes it were more valuable.
25Allow me to congratulate you on having so respectable and well-judging a friend, and to join in his wish that the
26living--it is about two hundred a-year--were much more considerable, and such as might better enable you to--as might be
27more than a temporary accommodation to yourself--such, in short, as might establish all your views of happiness." What
28Edward felt, as he could not say it himself, it cannot be expected that any one else should say for him. He looked all
29the astonishment which such unexpected, such unthought-of information could not fail of exciting; but he said only these
30two words,-- "Colonel Brandon!" "Yes," continued Elinor, gathering more resolution, as some of the worst was over,
31"Colonel Brandon means it as a testimony of his concern for what has lately passed--for the cruel situation in which the
32unjustifiable conduct of your family has placed you--a concern which I am sure Marianne, myself, and all your friends,
33must share; and likewise as a proof of his high esteem for your general character, and his particular approbation of
34your behaviour on the present occasion." "Colonel Brandon give me a living!--Can it be possible?" "The unkindness of
35your own relations has made you astonished to find friendship any where." "No," replied he, with sudden consciousness,
36"not to find it in you; for I cannot be ignorant that to you, to your goodness, I owe it all.--I feel it--I would
37express it if I could--but, as you well know, I am no orator." "You are very much mistaken. I do assure you that you owe
38it entirely, at least almost entirely, to your own merit, and Colonel Brandon's discernment of it. I have had no hand in
39it. I did not even know, till I understood his design, that the living was vacant; nor had it ever occurred to me that
40he might have had such a living in his gift. As a friend of mine, of my family, he may, perhaps--indeed I know he has,
41still greater pleasure in bestowing it; but, upon my word, you owe nothing to my solicitation." Truth obliged her to
42acknowledge some small share in the action, but she was at the same time so unwilling to appear as the benefactress of
43Edward, that she acknowledged it with hesitation; which probably contributed to fix that suspicion in his mind which had
44recently entered it. For a short time he sat deep in thought, after Elinor had ceased to speak;--at last, and as if it
45were rather an effort, he said, "Colonel Brandon seems a man of great worth and respectability. I have always heard him
46spoken of as such, and your brother I know esteems him highly. He is undoubtedly a sensible man, and in his manners
47perfectly the gentleman." "Indeed," replied Elinor, "I believe that you will find him, on farther acquaintance, all that
48you have heard him to be, and as you will be such very near neighbours (for I understand the parsonage is almost close
49to the mansion-house,) it is particularly important that he should be all this." Edward made no answer; but when she had
50turned away her head, gave her a look so serious, so earnest, so uncheerful, as seemed to say, that he might hereafter
51wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion-house much greater. "Colonel Brandon, I think, lodges in St.
52James Street," said he, soon afterwards, rising from his chair. Elinor told him the number of the house. "I must hurry
53away then, to give him those thanks which you will not allow me to give you; to assure him that he has made me a
54very--an exceedingly happy man." Elinor did not offer to detain him; and they parted, with a very earnest assurance on
55her side of her unceasing good wishes for his happiness in every change of situation that might befall him; on his, with
56rather an attempt to return the same good will, than the power of expressing it. "When I see him again," said Elinor to
57herself, as the door shut him out, "I shall see him the husband of Lucy." And with this pleasing anticipation, she sat
58down to reconsider the past, recall the words and endeavour to comprehend all the feelings of Edward; and, of course, to
59reflect on her own with discontent. When Mrs. Jennings came home, though she returned from seeing people whom she had
60never seen before, and of whom therefore she must have a great deal to say, her mind was so much more occupied by the
61important secret in her possession, than by anything else, that she reverted to it again as soon as Elinor appeared.
62"Well, my dear," she cried, "I sent you up the young man. Did not I do right?--And I suppose you had no great
63difficulty--You did not find him very unwilling to accept your proposal?" "No, ma'am; that was not very likely." "Well,
64and how soon will he be ready?--For it seems all to depend upon that." "Really," said Elinor, "I know so little of these
65kind of forms, that I can hardly even conjecture as to the time, or the preparation necessary; but I suppose two or
66three months will complete his ordination." "Two or three months!" cried Mrs. Jennings; "Lord! my dear, how calmly you
67talk of it; and can the Colonel wait two or three months! Lord bless me!--I am sure it would put me quite out of
68patience!--And though one would be very glad to do a kindness by poor Mr. Ferrars, I do think it is not worth while to
69wait two or three months for him. Sure somebody else might be found that would do as well; somebody that is in orders
70already." "My dear ma'am," said Elinor, "what can you be thinking of? Why, Colonel Brandon's only object is to be of use
71to Mr. Ferrars."
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