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1Edmund now believed himself perfectly acquainted with all that Fanny could tell, or could leave to be conjectured of her
2sentiments, and he was satisfied. It had been, as he before presumed, too hasty a measure on Crawford's side, and time
3must be given to make the idea first familiar, and then agreeable to her. She must be used to the consideration of his
4being in love with her, and then a return of affection might not be very distant. He gave this opinion as the result of
5the conversation to his father; and recommended there being nothing more said to her: no farther attempts to influence
6or persuade; but that everything should be left to Crawford's assiduities, and the natural workings of her own mind. Sir
7Thomas promised that it should be so. Edmund's account of Fanny's disposition he could believe to be just; he supposed
8she had all those feelings, but he must consider it as very unfortunate that she had; for, less willing than his son to
9trust to the future, he could not help fearing that if such very long allowances of time and habit were necessary for
10her, she might not have persuaded herself into receiving his addresses properly before the young man's inclination for
11paying them were over. There was nothing to be done, however, but to submit quietly and hope the best. The promised
12visit from "her friend," as Edmund called Miss Crawford, was a formidable threat to Fanny, and she lived in continual
13terror of it. As a sister, so partial and so angry, and so little scrupulous of what she said, and in another light so
14triumphant and secure, she was in every way an object of painful alarm. Her displeasure, her penetration, and her
15happiness were all fearful to encounter; and the dependence of having others present when they met was Fanny's only
16support in looking forward to it. She absented herself as little as possible from Lady Bertram, kept away from the East
17room, and took no solitary walk in the shrubbery, in her caution to avoid any sudden attack. She succeeded. She was safe
18in the breakfast-room, with her aunt, when Miss Crawford did come; and the first misery over, and Miss Crawford looking
19and speaking with much less particularity of expression than she had anticipated, Fanny began to hope there would be
20nothing worse to be endured than a half-hour of moderate agitation. But here she hoped too much; Miss Crawford was not
21the slave of opportunity. She was determined to see Fanny alone, and therefore said to her tolerably soon, in a low
22voice, "I must speak to you for a few minutes somewhere"; words that Fanny felt all over her, in all her pulses and all
23her nerves. Denial was impossible. Her habits of ready submission, on the contrary, made her almost instantly rise and
24lead the way out of the room. She did it with wretched feelings, but it was inevitable. They were no sooner in the hall
25than all restraint of countenance was over on Miss Crawford's side. She immediately shook her head at Fanny with arch,
26yet affectionate reproach, and taking her hand, seemed hardly able to help beginning directly. She said nothing,
27however, but, "Sad, sad girl! I do not know when I shall have done scolding you," and had discretion enough to reserve
28the rest till they might be secure of having four walls to themselves. Fanny naturally turned upstairs, and took her
29guest to the apartment which was now always fit for comfortable use; opening the door, however, with a most aching
30heart, and feeling that she had a more distressing scene before her than ever that spot had yet witnessed. But the evil
31ready to burst on her was at least delayed by the sudden change in Miss Crawford's ideas; by the strong effect on her
32mind which the finding herself in the East room again produced. "Ha!" she cried, with instant animation, "am I here
33again? The East room! Once only was I in this room before"; and after stopping to look about her, and seemingly to
34retrace all that had then passed, she added, "Once only before. Do you remember it? I came to rehearse. Your cousin came
35too; and we had a rehearsal. You were our audience and prompter. A delightful rehearsal. I shall never forget it. Here
36we were, just in this part of the room: here was your cousin, here was I, here were the chairs. Oh! why will such things
37ever pass away?" Happily for her companion, she wanted no answer. Her mind was entirely self-engrossed. She was in a
38reverie of sweet remembrances. "The scene we were rehearsing was so very remarkable! The subject of it so
39very--very--what shall I say? He was to be describing and recommending matrimony to me. I think I see him now, trying to
40be as demure and composed as Anhalt ought, through the two long speeches. 'When two sympathetic hearts meet in the
41marriage state, matrimony may be called a happy life.' I suppose no time can ever wear out the impression I have of his
42looks and voice as he said those words. It was curious, very curious, that we should have such a scene to play! If I had
43the power of recalling any one week of my existence, it should be that week--that acting week. Say what you would,
44Fanny, it should be that; for I never knew such exquisite happiness in any other. His sturdy spirit to bend as it did!
45Oh! it was sweet beyond expression. But alas, that very evening destroyed it all. That very evening brought your most
46unwelcome uncle. Poor Sir Thomas, who was glad to see you? Yet, Fanny, do not imagine I would now speak disrespectfully
47of Sir Thomas, though I certainly did hate him for many a week. No, I do him justice now. He is just what the head of
48such a family should be. Nay, in sober sadness, I believe I now love you all." And having said so, with a degree of
49tenderness and consciousness which Fanny had never seen in her before, and now thought only too becoming, she turned
50away for a moment to recover herself. "I have had a little fit since I came into this room, as you may perceive," said
51she presently, with a playful smile, "but it is over now; so let us sit down and be comfortable; for as to scolding you,
52Fanny, which I came fully intending to do, I have not the heart for it when it comes to the point." And embracing her
53very affectionately, "Good, gentle Fanny! when I think of this being the last time of seeing you for I do not know how
54long, I feel it quite impossible to do anything but love you." Fanny was affected. She had not foreseen anything of
55this, and her feelings could seldom withstand the melancholy influence of the word "last." She cried as if she had loved
56Miss Crawford more than she possibly could; and Miss Crawford, yet farther softened by the sight of such emotion, hung
57about her with fondness, and said, "I hate to leave you. I shall see no one half so amiable where I am going. Who says
58we shall not be sisters? I know we shall. I feel that we are born to be connected; and those tears convince me that you
59feel it too, dear Fanny." Fanny roused herself, and replying only in part, said, "But you are only going from one set of
60friends to another. You are going to a very particular friend." "Yes, very true. Mrs. Fraser has been my intimate friend
61for years. But I have not the least inclination to go near her. I can think only of the friends I am leaving: my
62excellent sister, yourself, and the Bertrams in general. You have all so much more heart among you than one finds in the
63world at large. You all give me a feeling of being able to trust and confide in you, which in common intercourse one
64knows nothing of. I wish I had settled with Mrs. Fraser not to go to her till after Easter, a much better time for the
65visit, but now I cannot put her off. And when I have done with her I must go to her sister, Lady Stornaway, because she
66was rather my most particular friend of the two, but I have not cared much for her these three years." After this speech
67the two girls sat many minutes silent, each thoughtful: Fanny meditating on the different sorts of friendship in the
68world, Mary on something of less philosophic tendency. She first spoke again.
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