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1Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures, she must have had a strong attack of them when she first understood what was
2intended, when her uncle first made her the offer of visiting the parents, and brothers, and sisters, from whom she had
3been divided almost half her life; of returning for a couple of months to the scenes of her infancy, with William for
4the protector and companion of her journey, and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour of his
5remaining on land. Had she ever given way to bursts of delight, it must have been then, for she was delighted, but her
6happiness was of a quiet, deep, heart-swelling sort; and though never a great talker, she was always more inclined to
7silence when feeling most strongly. At the moment she could only thank and accept. Afterwards, when familiarised with
8the visions of enjoyment so suddenly opened, she could speak more largely to William and Edmund of what she felt; but
9still there were emotions of tenderness that could not be clothed in words. The remembrance of all her earliest
10pleasures, and of what she had suffered in being torn from them, came over her with renewed strength, and it seemed as
11if to be at home again would heal every pain that had since grown out of the separation. To be in the centre of such a
12circle, loved by so many, and more loved by all than she had ever been before; to feel affection without fear or
13restraint; to feel herself the equal of those who surrounded her; to be at peace from all mention of the Crawfords, safe
14from every look which could be fancied a reproach on their account. This was a prospect to be dwelt on with a fondness
15that could be but half acknowledged. Edmund, too--to be two months from him (and perhaps she might be allowed to make
16her absence three) must do her good. At a distance, unassailed by his looks or his kindness, and safe from the perpetual
17irritation of knowing his heart, and striving to avoid his confidence, she should be able to reason herself into a
18properer state; she should be able to think of him as in London, and arranging everything there, without wretchedness.
19What might have been hard to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at Portsmouth. The only drawback was the
20doubt of her aunt Bertram's being comfortable without her. She was of use to no one else; but there she might be missed
21to a degree that she did not like to think of; and that part of the arrangement was, indeed, the hardest for Sir Thomas
22to accomplish, and what only he could have accomplished at all. But he was master at Mansfield Park. When he had really
23resolved on any measure, he could always carry it through; and now by dint of long talking on the subject, explaining
24and dwelling on the duty of Fanny's sometimes seeing her family, he did induce his wife to let her go; obtaining it
25rather from submission, however, than conviction, for Lady Bertram was convinced of very little more than that Sir
26Thomas thought Fanny ought to go, and therefore that she must. In the calmness of her own dressing-room, in the
27impartial flow of her own meditations, unbiased by his bewildering statements, she could not acknowledge any necessity
28for Fanny's ever going near a father and mother who had done without her so long, while she was so useful to herself.
29And as to the not missing her, which under Mrs. Norris's discussion was the point attempted to be proved, she set
30herself very steadily against admitting any such thing. Sir Thomas had appealed to her reason, conscience, and dignity.
31He called it a sacrifice, and demanded it of her goodness and self-command as such. But Mrs. Norris wanted to persuade
32her that Fanny could be very well spared--she being ready to give up all her own time to her as requested--and, in
33short, could not really be wanted or missed. "That may be, sister," was all Lady Bertram's reply. "I dare say you are
34very right; but I am sure I shall miss her very much." The next step was to communicate with Portsmouth. Fanny wrote to
35offer herself; and her mother's answer, though short, was so kind--a few simple lines expressed so natural and motherly
36a joy in the prospect of seeing her child again, as to confirm all the daughter's views of happiness in being with
37her--convincing her that she should now find a warm and affectionate friend in the "mama" who had certainly shewn no
38remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this she could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancy. She
39had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a
40larger share than any one among so many could deserve. Now, when she knew better how to be useful, and how to forbear,
41and when her mother could be no longer occupied by the incessant demands of a house full of little children, there would
42be leisure and inclination for every comfort, and they should soon be what mother and daughter ought to be to each
43other. William was almost as happy in the plan as his sister. It would be the greatest pleasure to him to have her there
44to the last moment before he sailed, and perhaps find her there still when he came in from his first cruise. And
45besides, he wanted her so very much to see the Thrush before she went out of harbour--the Thrush was certainly the
46finest sloop in the service--and there were several improvements in the dockyard, too, which he quite longed to shew
47her. He did not scruple to add that her being at home for a while would be a great advantage to everybody. "I do not
48know how it is," said he; "but we seem to want some of your nice ways and orderliness at my father's. The house is
49always in confusion. You will set things going in a better way, I am sure. You will tell my mother how it all ought to
50be, and you will be so useful to Susan, and you will teach Betsey, and make the boys love and mind you. How right and
51comfortable it will all be!" By the time Mrs. Price's answer arrived, there remained but a very few days more to be
52spent at Mansfield; and for part of one of those days the young travellers were in a good deal of alarm on the subject
53of their journey, for when the mode of it came to be talked of, and Mrs. Norris found that all her anxiety to save her
54brother-in-law's money was vain, and that in spite of her wishes and hints for a less expensive conveyance of Fanny,
55they were to travel post; when she saw Sir Thomas actually give William notes for the purpose, she was struck with the
56idea of there being room for a third in the carriage, and suddenly seized with a strong inclination to go with them, to
57go and see her poor dear sister Price. She proclaimed her thoughts. She must say that she had more than half a mind to
58go with the young people; it would be such an indulgence to her; she had not seen her poor dear sister Price for more
59than twenty years; and it would be a help to the young people in their journey to have her older head to manage for
60them; and she could not help thinking her poor dear sister Price would feel it very unkind of her not to come by such an
61opportunity. William and Fanny were horror-struck at the idea. All the comfort of their comfortable journey would be
62destroyed at once. With woeful countenances they looked at each other. Their suspense lasted an hour or two. No one
63interfered to encourage or dissuade. Mrs. Norris was left to settle the matter by herself; and it ended, to the infinite
64joy of her nephew and niece, in the recollection that she could not possibly be spared from Mansfield Park at present;
65that she was a great deal too necessary to Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram for her to be able to answer it to herself to
66leave them even for a week, and therefore must certainly sacrifice every other pleasure to that of being useful to them.
67It had, in fact, occurred to her, that though taken to Portsmouth for nothing, it would be hardly possible for her to
68avoid paying her own expenses back again. So her poor dear sister Price was left to all the disappointment of her
69missing such an opportunity, and another twenty years' absence, perhaps, begun.
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