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1Ere the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now
2ventured to descend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor. The spell by which I had been
3so far supported began to dissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I sank
4prostrate with my face to the ground. Now I wept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I
5abandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I had meant to be so good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so
6many friends, to earn respect and win affection. Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached
7the head of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation; she had promised to teach
8me drawing, and to let me learn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then I was
9well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an equal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay
10again crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more? "Never," I thought; and ardently I wished to die. While
11sobbing out this wish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen Burns was near me; the fading
12fires just showed her coming up the long, vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread. "Come, eat something," she said;
13but I put both away from me, feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition. Helen
14regarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.
15She sat down on the ground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head upon them; in that attitude
16she remained silent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke-- "Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody
17believes to be a liar?" "Everybody, Jane? Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you called so, and the world
18contains hundreds of millions." "But what have I to do with millions? The eighty I know despise me." "Jane, you are
19mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises or dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much." "How can they
20pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?" "Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man:
21he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked. Had he treated you as an especial favourite, you
22would have found enemies, declared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would offer you sympathy if
23they dared. Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their
24hearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for their
25temporary suppression. Besides, Jane"--she paused. "Well, Helen?" said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my
26fingers gently to warm them, and went on-- "If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own
27conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends." "No; I know I should think well
28of myself; but that is not enough: if others don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be solitary
29and hated, Helen. Look here; to gain some real affection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I
30would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse,
31and let it dash its hoof at my chest--" "Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too
32impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other
33resources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there
34is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch
35us, for they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and
36hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you are of this charge
37which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in
38your ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a
39full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so
40certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?" I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted
41there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness. I felt the impression of woe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it
42came; and when, having done speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I momentarily forgot my own
43sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her. Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she
44drew me to her, and we reposed in silence. We had not sat long thus, when another person came in. Some heavy clouds,
45swept from the sky by a rising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through a window near, shone
46full both on us and on the approaching figure, which we at once recognised as Miss Temple. "I came on purpose to find
47you, Jane Eyre," said she; "I want you in my room; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too." We went; following
48the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some intricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her
49apartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful. Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair
50on one side of the hearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side. "Is it all over?" she asked, looking
51down at my face. "Have you cried your grief away?" "I am afraid I never shall do that." "Why?" "Because I have been
52wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else, will now think me wicked." "We shall think you what you prove
53yourself to be, my child. Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy us." "Shall I, Miss Temple?" "You will,"
54said she, passing her arm round me. "And now tell me who is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?"
55"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he left me to her care." "Did she not, then, adopt you of her own
56accord?" "No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often heard the servants say, got her to
57promise before he died that she would always keep me." "Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when
58a criminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence. You have been charged with falsehood; defend
59yourself to me as well as you can. Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing." I
60resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most correct; and, having reflected a few minutes in
61order to arrange coherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my
62language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's warnings
63against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary. Thus
64restrained and simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss Temple fully believed me. In the
65course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see me after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me,
66frightful episode of the red-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to break bounds; for
67nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild
68supplication for pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber. I had finished: Miss Temple
69regarded me a few minutes in silence; she then said--
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