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1The promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to Thornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on
2a longer acquaintance with the place and its inmates. Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she appeared, a
3placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education and average intelligence. My pupil was a lively child, who
4had been spoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was committed entirely to my care, and no
5injudicious interference from any quarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her little freaks,
6and became obedient and teachable. She had no great talents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of
7feeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of childhood; but neither had she any deficiency or
8vice which sunk her below it. She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious, though perhaps not very
9profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay prattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of
10attachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society. This, par parenthèse, will be thought cool
11language by persons who entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the duty of those charged
12with their education to conceive for them an idolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to
13echo cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth. I felt a conscientious solicitude for Adèle's welfare and
14progress, and a quiet liking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a thankfulness for her
15kindness, and a pleasure in her society proportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation of her
16mind and character. Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then, when I took a walk by myself
17in the grounds; when I went down to the gates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adèle played with
18her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed the three staircases, raised the trap-door of the
19attic, and having reached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and along dim sky-line--that then
20I longed for a power of vision which might overpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions full of
21life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of practical experience than I possessed; more of
22intercourse with my kind, of acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach. I valued what was
23good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adèle; but I believed in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of
24goodness, and what I believed in I wished to behold. Who blames me? Many, no doubt; and I shall be called discontented.
25I could not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to pain sometimes. Then my sole relief was to
26walk along the corridor of the third storey, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and solitude of the spot, and
27allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright visions rose before it--and, certainly, they were many and glowing; to
28let my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled it in trouble, expanded it with life; and, best
29of all, to open my inward ear to a tale that was never ended--a tale my imagination created, and narrated continuously;
30quickened with all of incident, life, fire, feeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence. It is in vain to
31say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot
32find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody
33knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth. Women are
34supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field
35for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation,
36precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought
37to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is
38thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced
39necessary for their sex. When thus alone, I not unfrequently heard Grace Poole's laugh: the same peal, the same low,
40slow ha! ha! which, when first heard, had thrilled me: I heard, too, her eccentric murmurs; stranger than her laugh.
41There were days when she was quite silent; but there were others when I could not account for the sounds she made.
42Sometimes I saw her: she would come out of her room with a basin, or a plate, or a tray in her hand, go down to the
43kitchen and shortly return, generally (oh, romantic reader, forgive me for telling the plain truth!) bearing a pot of
44porter. Her appearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral oddities: hard-featured and staid,
45she had no point to which interest could attach. I made some attempts to draw her into conversation, but she seemed a
46person of few words: a monosyllabic reply usually cut short every effort of that sort. The other members of the
47household, viz., John and his wife, Leah the housemaid, and Sophie the French nurse, were decent people; but in no
48respect remarkable; with Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I asked her questions about her native country; but
49she was not of a descriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused answers as were calculated
50rather to check than encourage inquiry. October, November, December passed away. One afternoon in January, Mrs. Fairfax
51had begged a holiday for Adèle, because she had a cold; and, as Adèle seconded the request with an ardour that reminded
52me how precious occasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I accorded it, deeming that I did well in
53showing pliability on the point. It was a fine, calm day, though very cold; I was tired of sitting still in the library
54through a whole long morning: Mrs. Fairfax had just written a letter which was waiting to be posted, so I put on my
55bonnet and cloak and volunteered to carry it to Hay; the distance, two miles, would be a pleasant winter afternoon walk.
56Having seen Adèle comfortably seated in her little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's parlour fireside, and given her her best wax
57doll (which I usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a drawer) to play with, and a story-book for change of
58amusement; and having replied to her "Revenez bientôt, ma bonne amie, ma chère Mdlle. Jeannette," with a kiss, I set
59out. The ground was hard, the air was still, my road was lonely; I walked fast till I got warm, and then I walked slowly
60to enjoy and analyse the species of pleasure brooding for me in the hour and situation. It was three o'clock; the church
61bell tolled as I passed under the belfry: the charm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding and
62pale-beaming sun. I was a mile from Thornfield, in a lane noted for wild roses in summer, for nuts and blackberries in
63autumn, and even now possessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws, but whose best winter delight lay in its utter
64solitude and leafless repose. If a breath of air stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an
65evergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as still as the white, worn stones which causewayed
66the middle of the path. Far and wide, on each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now browsed; and the little
67brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the hedge, looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.
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