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1"Now, Dent," continued Mr. Rochester, "it is your turn." And as the other party withdrew, he and his band took the
2vacated seats. Miss Ingram placed herself at her leader's right hand; the other diviners filled the chairs on each side
3of him and her. I did not now watch the actors; I no longer waited with interest for the curtain to rise; my attention
4was absorbed by the spectators; my eyes, erewhile fixed on the arch, were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle
5of chairs. What charade Colonel Dent and his party played, what word they chose, how they acquitted themselves, I no
6longer remember; but I still see the consultation which followed each scene: I see Mr. Rochester turn to Miss Ingram,
7and Miss Ingram to him; I see her incline her head towards him, till the jetty curls almost touch his shoulder and wave
8against his cheek; I hear their mutual whisperings; I recall their interchanged glances; and something even of the
9feeling roused by the spectacle returns in memory at this moment. I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr.
10Rochester: I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me--because I might pass
11hours in his presence, and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction--because I saw all his attentions
12appropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her robes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and
13imperious eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation. I could
14not unlove him, because I felt sure he would soon marry this very lady--because I read daily in her a proud security in
15his intentions respecting her--because I witnessed hourly in him a style of courtship which, if careless and choosing
16rather to be sought than to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its very pride, irresistible.
17There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though much to create despair. Much too, you will
18think, reader, to engender jealousy: if a woman, in my position, could presume to be jealous of a woman in Miss
19Ingram's. But I was not jealous: or very rarely;--the nature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word.
20Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the feeling. Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean
21what I say. She was very showy, but she was not genuine: she had a fine person, many brilliant attainments; but her mind
22was poor, her heart barren by nature: nothing bloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural fruit delighted by
23its freshness. She was not good; she was not original: she used to repeat sounding phrases from books: she never
24offered, nor had, an opinion of her own. She advocated a high tone of sentiment; but she did not know the sensations of
25sympathy and pity; tenderness and truth were not in her. Too often she betrayed this, by the undue vent she gave to a
26spiteful antipathy she had conceived against little Adèle: pushing her away with some contumelious epithet if she
27happened to approach her; sometimes ordering her from the room, and always treating her with coldness and acrimony.
28Other eyes besides mine watched these manifestations of character--watched them closely, keenly, shrewdly. Yes; the
29future bridegroom, Mr. Rochester himself, exercised over his intended a ceaseless surveillance; and it was from this
30sagacity--this guardedness of his--this perfect, clear consciousness of his fair one's defects--this obvious absence of
31passion in his sentiments towards her, that my ever-torturing pain arose. I saw he was going to marry her, for family,
32perhaps political reasons, because her rank and connections suited him; I felt he had not given her his love, and that
33her qualifications were ill adapted to win from him that treasure. This was the point--this was where the nerve was
34touched and teased--this was where the fever was sustained and fed: she could not charm him. If she had managed the
35victory at once, and he had yielded and sincerely laid his heart at her feet, I should have covered my face, turned to
36the wall, and (figuratively) have died to them. If Miss Ingram had been a good and noble woman, endowed with force,
37fervour, kindness, sense, I should have had one vital struggle with two tigers--jealousy and despair: then, my heart
38torn out and devoured, I should have admired her--acknowledged her excellence, and been quiet for the rest of my days:
39and the more absolute her superiority, the deeper would have been my admiration--the more truly tranquil my quiescence.
40But as matters really stood, to watch Miss Ingram's efforts at fascinating Mr. Rochester, to witness their repeated
41failure--herself unconscious that they did fail; vainly fancying that each shaft launched hit the mark, and infatuatedly
42pluming herself on success, when her pride and self-complacency repelled further and further what she wished to
43allure--to witness this, was to be at once under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint. Because, when she failed,
44I saw how she might have succeeded. Arrows that continually glanced off from Mr. Rochester's breast and fell harmless at
45his feet, might, I knew, if shot by a surer hand, have quivered keen in his proud heart--have called love into his stern
46eye, and softness into his sardonic face; or, better still, without weapons a silent conquest might have been won. "Why
47can she not influence him more, when she is privileged to draw so near to him?" I asked myself. "Surely she cannot truly
48like him, or not like him with true affection! If she did, she need not coin her smiles so lavishly, flash her glances
49so unremittingly, manufacture airs so elaborate, graces so multitudinous. It seems to me that she might, by merely
50sitting quietly at his side, saying little and looking less, get nigher his heart. I have seen in his face a far
51different expression from that which hardens it now while she is so vivaciously accosting him; but then it came of
52itself: it was not elicited by meretricious arts and calculated manoeuvres; and one had but to accept it--to answer what
53he asked without pretension, to address him when needful without grimace--and it increased and grew kinder and more
54genial, and warmed one like a fostering sunbeam. How will she manage to please him when they are married? I do not think
55she will manage it; and yet it might be managed; and his wife might, I verily believe, be the very happiest woman the
56sun shines on." I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr. Rochester's project of marrying for interest and
57connections. It surprised me when I first discovered that such was his intention: I had thought him a man unlikely to be
58influenced by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife; but the longer I considered the position, education, &c.,
59of the parties, the less I felt justified in judging and blaming either him or Miss Ingram for acting in conformity to
60ideas and principles instilled into them, doubtless, from their childhood. All their class held these principles: I
61supposed, then, they had reasons for holding them such as I could not fathom. It seemed to me that, were I a gentleman
62like him, I would take to my bosom only such a wife as I could love; but the very obviousness of the advantages to the
63husband's own happiness offered by this plan convinced me that there must be arguments against its general adoption of
64which I was quite ignorant: otherwise I felt sure all the world would act as I wished to act.
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