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1"No, sir; that I am certain I could not; and therefore I see there is but one way: but you will be furious if I mention
2it." "Oh, mention it! If I storm, you have the art of weeping." "Mr. Rochester, I must leave you." "For how long, Jane?
3For a few minutes, while you smooth your hair--which is somewhat dishevelled; and bathe your face--which looks
4feverish?" "I must leave Adèle and Thornfield. I must part with you for my whole life: I must begin a new existence
5among strange faces and strange scenes." "Of course: I told you you should. I pass over the madness about parting from
6me. You mean you must become a part of me. As to the new existence, it is all right: you shall yet be my wife: I am not
7married. You shall be Mrs. Rochester--both virtually and nominally. I shall keep only to you so long as you and I live.
8You shall go to a place I have in the south of France: a whitewashed villa on the shores of the Mediterranean. There you
9shall live a happy, and guarded, and most innocent life. Never fear that I wish to lure you into error--to make you my
10mistress. Why did you shake your head? Jane, you must be reasonable, or in truth I shall again become frantic." His
11voice and hand quivered: his large nostrils dilated; his eye blazed: still I dared to speak. "Sir, your wife is living:
12that is a fact acknowledged this morning by yourself. If I lived with you as you desire, I should then be your mistress:
13to say otherwise is sophistical--is false." "Jane, I am not a gentle-tempered man--you forget that: I am not
14long-enduring; I am not cool and dispassionate. Out of pity to me and yourself, put your finger on my pulse, feel how it
15throbs, and--beware!" He bared his wrist, and offered it to me: the blood was forsaking his cheek and lips, they were
16growing livid; I was distressed on all hands. To agitate him thus deeply, by a resistance he so abhorred, was cruel: to
17yield was out of the question. I did what human beings do instinctively when they are driven to utter extremity--looked
18for aid to one higher than man: the words "God help me!" burst involuntarily from my lips. "I am a fool!" cried Mr.
19Rochester suddenly. "I keep telling her I am not married, and do not explain to her why. I forget she knows nothing of
20the character of that woman, or of the circumstances attending my infernal union with her. Oh, I am certain Jane will
21agree with me in opinion, when she knows all that I know! Just put your hand in mine, Janet--that I may have the
22evidence of touch as well as sight, to prove you are near me--and I will in a few words show you the real state of the
23case. Can you listen to me?" "Yes, sir; for hours if you will." "I ask only minutes. Jane, did you ever hear or know
24that I was not the eldest son of my house: that I had once a brother older than I?" "I remember Mrs. Fairfax told me so
25once." "And did you ever hear that my father was an avaricious, grasping man?" "I have understood something to that
26effect." "Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the property together; he could not bear the idea of
27dividing his estate and leaving me a fair portion: all, he resolved, should go to my brother, Rowland. Yet as little
28could he endure that a son of his should be a poor man. I must be provided for by a wealthy marriage. He sought me a
29partner betimes. Mr. Mason, a West India planter and merchant, was his old acquaintance. He was certain his possessions
30were real and vast: he made inquiries. Mr. Mason, he found, had a son and daughter; and he learned from him that he
31could and would give the latter a fortune of thirty thousand pounds: that sufficed. When I left college, I was sent out
32to Jamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for me. My father said nothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason
33was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in the style of Blanche
34Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic. Her family wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she. They
35showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with
36her. She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments. All the men in her circle
37seemed to admire her and envy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and
38inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the
39prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me;
40competitors piqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was. Oh, I have no respect
41for myself when I think of that act!--an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not
42even know her. I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her nature: I had marked neither modesty, nor
43benevolence, nor candour, nor refinement in her mind or manners--and, I married her:--gross, grovelling, mole-eyed
44blockhead that I was! With less sin I might have--But let me remember to whom I am speaking. "My bride's mother I had
45never seen: I understood she was dead. The honeymoon over, I learned my mistake; she was only mad, and shut up in a
46lunatic asylum. There was a younger brother, too--a complete dumb idiot. The elder one, whom you have seen (and whom I
47cannot hate, whilst I abhor all his kindred, because he has some grains of affection in his feeble mind, shown in the
48continued interest he takes in his wretched sister, and also in a dog-like attachment he once bore me), will probably be
49in the same state one day. My father and my brother Rowland knew all this; but they thought only of the thirty thousand
50pounds, and joined in the plot against me. "These were vile discoveries; but except for the treachery of concealment, I
51should have made them no subject of reproach to my wife, even when I found her nature wholly alien to mine, her tastes
52obnoxious to me, her cast of mind common, low, narrow, and singularly incapable of being led to anything higher,
53expanded to anything larger--when I found that I could not pass a single evening, nor even a single hour of the day with
54her in comfort; that kindly conversation could not be sustained between us, because whatever topic I started,
55immediately received from her a turn at once coarse and trite, perverse and imbecile--when I perceived that I should
56never have a quiet or settled household, because no servant would bear the continued outbreaks of her violent and
57unreasonable temper, or the vexations of her absurd, contradictory, exacting orders--even then I restrained myself: I
58eschewed upbraiding, I curtailed remonstrance; I tried to devour my repentance and disgust in secret; I repressed the
59deep antipathy I felt. "Jane, I will not trouble you with abominable details: some strong words shall express what I
60have to say. I lived with that woman upstairs four years, and before that time she had tried me indeed: her character
61ripened and developed with frightful rapidity; her vices sprang up fast and rank: they were so strong, only cruelty
62could check them, and I would not use cruelty. What a pigmy intellect she had, and what giant propensities! How fearful
63were the curses those propensities entailed on me! Bertha Mason, the true daughter of an infamous mother, dragged me
64through all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a man bound to a wife at once intemperate and unchaste.
65"My brother in the interval was dead, and at the end of the four years my father died too. I was rich enough now--yet
66poor to hideous indigence: a nature the most gross, impure, depraved I ever saw, was associated with mine, and called by
67the law and by society a part of me. And I could not rid myself of it by any legal proceedings: for the doctors now
68discovered that my wife was mad--her excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity. Jane, you don't like my
69narrative; you look almost sick--shall I defer the rest to another day?" "No, sir, finish it now; I pity you--I do
70earnestly pity you."
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