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1"Landlord," said I, going up to him as cool as Mt. Hecla in a snow-storm--"landlord, stop whittling. You and I must
2understand one another, and that too without delay. I come to your house and want a bed; you tell me you can only give
3me half a one; that the other half belongs to a certain harpooneer. And about this harpooneer, whom I have not yet seen,
4you persist in telling me the most mystifying and exasperating stories tending to beget in me an uncomfortable feeling
5towards the man whom you design for my bedfellow--a sort of connexion, landlord, which is an intimate and confidential
6one in the highest degree. I now demand of you to speak out and tell me who and what this harpooneer is, and whether I
7shall be in all respects safe to spend the night with him. And in the first place, you will be so good as to unsay that
8story about selling his head, which if true I take to be good evidence that this harpooneer is stark mad, and I've no
9idea of sleeping with a madman; and you, sir, you I mean, landlord, you, sir, by trying to induce me to do so knowingly,
10would thereby render yourself liable to a criminal prosecution." "Wall," said the landlord, fetching a long breath,
11"that's a purty long sarmon for a chap that rips a little now and then. But be easy, be easy, this here harpooneer I
12have been tellin' you of has just arrived from the south seas, where he bought up a lot of 'balmed New Zealand heads
13(great curios, you know), and he's sold all on 'em but one, and that one he's trying to sell to-night, cause to-morrow's
14Sunday, and it would not do to be sellin' human heads about the streets when folks is goin' to churches. He wanted to,
15last Sunday, but I stopped him just as he was goin' out of the door with four heads strung on a string, for all the
16airth like a string of inions." This account cleared up the otherwise unaccountable mystery, and showed that the
17landlord, after all, had had no idea of fooling me--but at the same time what could I think of a harpooneer who stayed
18out of a Saturday night clean into the holy Sabbath, engaged in such a cannibal business as selling the heads of dead
19idolators? "Depend upon it, landlord, that harpooneer is a dangerous man." "He pays reg'lar," was the rejoinder. "But
20come, it's getting dreadful late, you had better be turning flukes--it's a nice bed; Sal and me slept in that ere bed
21the night we were spliced. There's plenty of room for two to kick about in that bed; it's an almighty big bed that. Why,
22afore we give it up, Sal used to put our Sam and little Johnny in the foot of it. But I got a dreaming and sprawling
23about one night, and somehow, Sam got pitched on the floor, and came near breaking his arm. Arter that, Sal said it
24wouldn't do. Come along here, I'll give ye a glim in a jiffy;" and so saying he lighted a candle and held it towards me,
25offering to lead the way. But I stood irresolute; when looking at a clock in the corner, he exclaimed "I vum it's
26Sunday--you won't see that harpooneer to-night; he's come to anchor somewhere--come along then; do come; won't ye come?"
27I considered the matter a moment, and then up stairs we went, and I was ushered into a small room, cold as a clam, and
28furnished, sure enough, with a prodigious bed, almost big enough indeed for any four harpooneers to sleep abreast.
29"There," said the landlord, placing the candle on a crazy old sea chest that did double duty as a wash-stand and centre
30table; "there, make yourself comfortable now, and good night to ye." I turned round from eyeing the bed, but he had
31disappeared. Folding back the counterpane, I stooped over the bed. Though none of the most elegant, it yet stood the
32scrutiny tolerably well. I then glanced round the room; and besides the bedstead and centre table, could see no other
33furniture belonging to the place, but a rude shelf, the four walls, and a papered fireboard representing a man striking
34a whale. Of things not properly belonging to the room, there was a hammock lashed up, and thrown upon the floor in one
35corner; also a large seaman's bag, containing the harpooneer's wardrobe, no doubt in lieu of a land trunk. Likewise,
36there was a parcel of outlandish bone fish hooks on the shelf over the fire-place, and a tall harpoon standing at the
37head of the bed. But what is this on the chest? I took it up, and held it close to the light, and felt it, and smelt it,
38and tried every way possible to arrive at some satisfactory conclusion concerning it. I can compare it to nothing but a
39large door mat, ornamented at the edges with little tinkling tags something like the stained porcupine quills round an
40Indian moccasin. There was a hole or slit in the middle of this mat, as you see the same in South American ponchos. But
41could it be possible that any sober harpooneer would get into a door mat, and parade the streets of any Christian town
42in that sort of guise? I put it on, to try it, and it weighed me down like a hamper, being uncommonly shaggy and thick,
43and I thought a little damp, as though this mysterious harpooneer had been wearing it of a rainy day. I went up in it to
44a bit of glass stuck against the wall, and I never saw such a sight in my life. I tore myself out of it in such a hurry
45that I gave myself a kink in the neck. I sat down on the side of the bed, and commenced thinking about this
46head-peddling harpooneer, and his door mat. After thinking some time on the bed-side, I got up and took off my monkey
47jacket, and then stood in the middle of the room thinking. I then took off my coat, and thought a little more in my
48shirt sleeves. But beginning to feel very cold now, half undressed as I was, and remembering what the landlord said
49about the harpooneer's not coming home at all that night, it being so very late, I made no more ado, but jumped out of
50my pantaloons and boots, and then blowing out the light tumbled into bed, and commended myself to the care of heaven.
51Whether that mattress was stuffed with corn-cobs or broken crockery, there is no telling, but I rolled about a good
52deal, and could not sleep for a long time. At last I slid off into a light doze, and had pretty nearly made a good
53offing towards the land of Nod, when I heard a heavy footfall in the passage, and saw a glimmer of light come into the
54room from under the door.
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