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1If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done; and though the motives which governed me may to you
2very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them.--With respect to that other, more weighty
3accusation, of having injured Mr. Wickham, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his connection with my
4family. Of what he has particularly accused me I am ignorant; but of the truth of what I shall relate I can summon more
5than one witness of undoubted veracity. Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the
6management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my
7father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally
8bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father,
9always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father was
10not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him,
11and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years
12since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which
13he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly
14the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.
15Here again I shall give you pain--to what degree you only can tell. But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham
16has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character. It adds even another
17motive. My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that
18in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might
19allow, and if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was
20also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine; and within half a year from these events
21Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it
22unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment, by which he could not
23be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and I must be aware that the interest of one
24thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein. I rather wished than believed him to be sincere; but, at
25any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman. The
26business was therefore soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could
27ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now
28dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town. In town, I believe, he
29chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence; and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life
30of idleness and dissipation. For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the
31living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he
32assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable
33study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living in question--of which he
34trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not
35have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or
36for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances--and he was
37doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others as in his reproaches to myself. After this period, every appearance of
38acquaintance was dropped. How he lived, I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice. I
39must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation less than the present
40should induce me to unfold to any human being. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is
41more than ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself.
42About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went
43with the lady who presided over it to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there
44proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily
45deceived; and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a
46strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love and to consent to
47an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add,
48that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement; and
49then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father,
50acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings
51prevented any public exposure; but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course
52removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand
53pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would
54have been complete indeed. This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together;
55and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr. Wickham.
56I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood, he has imposed on you; but his success is not perhaps to be
57wondered at, ignorant as you previously were of everything concerning either. Detection could not be in your power, and
58suspicion certainly not in your inclination. You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night. But I was
59not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of everything here related, I
60can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, from our near relationship and constant
61intimacy, and still more as one of the executors of my father's will, has been unavoidably acquainted with every
62particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented
63by the same cause from confiding in my cousin; and that there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall
64endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning. I will only add,
65God bless you. "FITZWILLIAM DARCY." [Illustration] CHAPTER XXXVI. [Illustration]
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