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1His tale had occupied the whole day, and the sun was upon the verge of the horizon when he departed. I knew that I ought
2to hasten my descent towards the valley, as I should soon be encompassed in darkness; but my heart was heavy, and my
3steps slow. The labour of winding among the little paths of the mountain and fixing my feet firmly as I advanced
4perplexed me, occupied as I was by the emotions which the occurrences of the day had produced. Night was far advanced
5when I came to the halfway resting-place and seated myself beside the fountain. The stars shone at intervals as the
6clouds passed from over them; the dark pines rose before me, and every here and there a broken tree lay on the ground;
7it was a scene of wonderful solemnity and stirred strange thoughts within me. I wept bitterly, and clasping my hands in
8agony, I exclaimed, "Oh! stars and clouds and winds, ye are all about to mock me; if ye really pity me, crush sensation
9and memory; let me become as nought; but if not, depart, depart, and leave me in darkness." These were wild and
10miserable thoughts, but I cannot describe to you how the eternal twinkling of the stars weighed upon me and how I
11listened to every blast of wind as if it were a dull ugly siroc on its way to consume me. Morning dawned before I
12arrived at the village of Chamounix; I took no rest, but returned immediately to Geneva. Even in my own heart I could
13give no expression to my sensations--they weighed on me with a mountain's weight and their excess destroyed my agony
14beneath them. Thus I returned home, and entering the house, presented myself to the family. My haggard and wild
15appearance awoke intense alarm, but I answered no question, scarcely did I speak. I felt as if I were placed under a
16ban--as if I had no right to claim their sympathies--as if never more might I enjoy companionship with them. Yet even
17thus I loved them to adoration; and to save them, I resolved to dedicate myself to my most abhorred task. The prospect
18of such an occupation made every other circumstance of existence pass before me like a dream, and that thought only had
19to me the reality of life. Chapter 18 Day after day, week after week, passed away on my return to Geneva; and I could
20not collect the courage to recommence my work. I feared the vengeance of the disappointed fiend, yet I was unable to
21overcome my repugnance to the task which was enjoined me. I found that I could not compose a female without again
22devoting several months to profound study and laborious disquisition. I had heard of some discoveries having been made
23by an English philosopher, the knowledge of which was material to my success, and I sometimes thought of obtaining my
24father's consent to visit England for this purpose; but I clung to every pretence of delay and shrank from taking the
25first step in an undertaking whose immediate necessity began to appear less absolute to me. A change indeed had taken
26place in me; my health, which had hitherto declined, was now much restored; and my spirits, when unchecked by the memory
27of my unhappy promise, rose proportionably. My father saw this change with pleasure, and he turned his thoughts towards
28the best method of eradicating the remains of my melancholy, which every now and then would return by fits, and with a
29devouring blackness overcast the approaching sunshine. At these moments I took refuge in the most perfect solitude. I
30passed whole days on the lake alone in a little boat, watching the clouds and listening to the rippling of the waves,
31silent and listless. But the fresh air and bright sun seldom failed to restore me to some degree of composure, and on my
32return I met the salutations of my friends with a readier smile and a more cheerful heart. It was after my return from
33one of these rambles that my father, calling me aside, thus addressed me, "I am happy to remark, my dear son, that you
34have resumed your former pleasures and seem to be returning to yourself. And yet you are still unhappy and still avoid
35our society. For some time I was lost in conjecture as to the cause of this, but yesterday an idea struck me, and if it
36is well founded, I conjure you to avow it. Reserve on such a point would be not only useless, but draw down treble
37misery on us all." I trembled violently at his exordium, and my father continued-- "I confess, my son, that I have
38always looked forward to your marriage with our dear Elizabeth as the tie of our domestic comfort and the stay of my
39declining years. You were attached to each other from your earliest infancy; you studied together, and appeared, in
40dispositions and tastes, entirely suited to one another. But so blind is the experience of man that what I conceived to
41be the best assistants to my plan may have entirely destroyed it. You, perhaps, regard her as your sister, without any
42wish that she might become your wife. Nay, you may have met with another whom you may love; and considering yourself as
43bound in honour to Elizabeth, this struggle may occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel." "My dear father,
44reassure yourself. I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely. I never saw any woman who excited, as Elizabeth does, my
45warmest admiration and affection. My future hopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of our union."
46"The expression of your sentiments of this subject, my dear Victor, gives me more pleasure than I have for some time
47experienced. If you feel thus, we shall assuredly be happy, however present events may cast a gloom over us. But it is
48this gloom which appears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind that I wish to dissipate. Tell me, therefore,
49whether you object to an immediate solemnisation of the marriage. We have been unfortunate, and recent events have drawn
50us from that everyday tranquillity befitting my years and infirmities. You are younger; yet I do not suppose, possessed
51as you are of a competent fortune, that an early marriage would at all interfere with any future plans of honour and
52utility that you may have formed. Do not suppose, however, that I wish to dictate happiness to you or that a delay on
53your part would cause me any serious uneasiness. Interpret my words with candour and answer me, I conjure you, with
54confidence and sincerity." I listened to my father in silence and remained for some time incapable of offering any
55reply. I revolved rapidly in my mind a multitude of thoughts and endeavoured to arrive at some conclusion. Alas! To me
56the idea of an immediate union with my Elizabeth was one of horror and dismay. I was bound by a solemn promise which I
57had not yet fulfilled and dared not break, or if I did, what manifold miseries might not impend over me and my devoted
58family! Could I enter into a festival with this deadly weight yet hanging round my neck and bowing me to the ground? I
59must perform my engagement and let the monster depart with his mate before I allowed myself to enjoy the delight of a
60union from which I expected peace. I remembered also the necessity imposed upon me of either journeying to England or
61entering into a long correspondence with those philosophers of that country whose knowledge and discoveries were of
62indispensable use to me in my present undertaking. The latter method of obtaining the desired intelligence was dilatory
63and unsatisfactory; besides, I had an insurmountable aversion to the idea of engaging myself in my loathsome task in my
64father's house while in habits of familiar intercourse with those I loved. I knew that a thousand fearful accidents
65might occur, the slightest of which would disclose a tale to thrill all connected with me with horror. I was aware also
66that I should often lose all self-command, all capacity of hiding the harrowing sensations that would possess me during
67the progress of my unearthly occupation. I must absent myself from all I loved while thus employed. Once commenced, it
68would quickly be achieved, and I might be restored to my family in peace and happiness. My promise fulfilled, the
69monster would depart for ever. Or (so my fond fancy imaged) some accident might meanwhile occur to destroy him and put
70an end to my slavery for ever.
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