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1The other fellow was about thirty, and dressed about as ornery. After breakfast we all laid off and talked, and the
2first thing that come out was that these chaps didn't know one another. "What got you into trouble?" says the baldhead
3to t'other chap. "Well, I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth--and it does take it off, too, and
4generly the enamel along with it--but I stayed about one night longer than I ought to, and was just in the act of
5sliding out when I ran across you on the trail this side of town, and you told me they were coming, and begged me to
6help you to get off. So I told you I was expecting trouble myself, and would scatter out with you. That's the whole
7yarn--what's yourn? "Well, I'd ben a-runnin' a little temperance revival thar, 'bout a week, and was the pet of the
8women folks, big and little, for I was makin' it mighty warm for the rummies, I tell you, and takin' as much as five or
9six dollars a night--ten cents a head, children and niggers free--and business a-growin' all the time, when somehow or
10another a little report got around last night that I had a way of puttin' in my time with a private jug on the sly. A
11nigger rousted me out this mornin', and told me the people was getherin' on the quiet with their dogs and horses, and
12they'd be along pretty soon and give me 'bout half an hour's start, and then run me down if they could; and if they got
13me they'd tar and feather me and ride me on a rail, sure. I didn't wait for no breakfast--I warn't hungry." "Old man,"
14said the young one, "I reckon we might double-team it together; what do you think?" "I ain't undisposed. What's your
15line--mainly?" "Jour printer by trade; do a little in patent medicines; theater-actor--tragedy, you know; take a turn to
16mesmerism and phrenology when there's a chance; teach singing-geography school for a change; sling a lecture
17sometimes--oh, I do lots of things--most anything that comes handy, so it ain't work. What's your lay?" "I've done
18considerble in the doctoring way in my time. Layin' on o' hands is my best holt--for cancer and paralysis, and sich
19things; and I k'n tell a fortune pretty good when I've got somebody along to find out the facts for me. Preachin's my
20line, too, and workin' camp-meetin's, and missionaryin' around." Nobody never said anything for a while; then the young
21man hove a sigh and says: "Alas!" "What 're you alassin' about?" says the baldhead. "To think I should have lived to be
22leading such a life, and be degraded down into such company." And he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with a rag.
23"Dern your skin, ain't the company good enough for you?" says the baldhead, pretty pert and uppish. "Yes, it is good
24enough for me; it's as good as I deserve; for who fetched me so low when I was so high? I did myself. I don't blame you,
25gentlemen--far from it; I don't blame anybody. I deserve it all. Let the cold world do its worst; one thing I
26know--there's a grave somewhere for me. The world may go on just as it's always done, and take everything from me--loved
27ones, property, everything; but it can't take that. Some day I'll lie down in it and forget it all, and my poor broken
28heart will be at rest." He went on a-wiping. "Drot your pore broken heart," says the baldhead; "what are you heaving
29your pore broken heart at us f'r? We hain't done nothing." "No, I know you haven't. I ain't blaming you, gentlemen. I
30brought myself down--yes, I did it myself. It's right I should suffer--perfectly right--I don't make any moan." "Brought
31you down from whar? Whar was you brought down from?" "Ah, you would not believe me; the world never believes--let it
32pass--'tis no matter. The secret of my birth--" "The secret of your birth! Do you mean to say--" "Gentlemen," says the
33young man, very solemn, "I will reveal it to you, for I feel I may have confidence in you. By rights I am a duke!" Jim's
34eyes bugged out when he heard that; and I reckon mine did, too. Then the baldhead says: "No! you can't mean it?" "Yes.
35My great-grandfather, eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater, fled to this country about the end of the last century, to
36breathe the pure air of freedom; married here, and died, leaving a son, his own father dying about the same time. The
37second son of the late duke seized the titles and estates--the infant real duke was ignored. I am the lineal descendant
38of that infant--I am the rightful Duke of Bridgewater; and here am I, forlorn, torn from my high estate, hunted of men,
39despised by the cold world, ragged, worn, heart-broken, and degraded to the companionship of felons on a raft!" Jim
40pitied him ever so much, and so did I. We tried to comfort him, but he said it warn't much use, he couldn't be much
41comforted; said if we was a mind to acknowledge him, that would do him more good than most anything else; so we said we
42would, if he would tell us how. He said we ought to bow when we spoke to him, and say "Your Grace," or "My Lord," or
43"Your Lordship"--and he wouldn't mind it if we called him plain "Bridgewater," which, he said, was a title anyway, and
44not a name; and one of us ought to wait on him at dinner, and do any little thing for him he wanted done. Well, that was
45all easy, so we done it. All through dinner Jim stood around and waited on him, and says, "Will yo' Grace have some o'
46dis or some o' dat?" and so on, and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to him. But the old man got pretty silent
47by-and-by--didn't have much to say, and didn't look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on around
48that duke. He seemed to have something on his mind. So, along in the afternoon, he says: "Looky here, Bilgewater," he
49says, "I'm nation sorry for you, but you ain't the only person that's had troubles like that." "No?" "No you ain't. You
50ain't the only person that's ben snaked down wrongfully out'n a high place." "Alas!" "No, you ain't the only person
51that's had a secret of his birth." And, by jings, he begins to cry. "Hold! What do you mean?" "Bilgewater, kin I trust
52you?" says the old man, still sort of sobbing. "To the bitter death!" He took the old man by the hand and squeezed it,
53and says, "That secret of your being: speak!" "Bilgewater, I am the late Dauphin!" You bet you, Jim and me stared this
54time. Then the duke says: "You are what?" "Yes, my friend, it is too true--your eyes is lookin' at this very moment on
55the pore disappeared Dauphin, Looy the Seventeen, son of Looy the Sixteen and Marry Antonette." "You! At your age! No!
56You mean you're the late Charlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least." "Trouble has done
57it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude. Yes, gentlemen,
58you see before you, in blue jeans and misery, the wanderin', exiled, trampled-on, and sufferin' rightful King of
59France."
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