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1Well, all day him and the king was hard at it, rigging up a stage and a curtain and a row of candles for footlights; and
2that night the house was jam full of men in no time. When the place couldn't hold no more, the duke he quit tending door
3and went around the back way and come on to the stage and stood up before the curtain and made a little speech, and
4praised up this tragedy, and said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was; and so he went on a-bragging about the
5tragedy, and about Edmund Kean the Elder, which was to play the main principal part in it; and at last when he'd got
6everybody's expectations up high enough, he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on
7all fours, naked; and he was painted all over, ring-streaked-and-striped, all sorts of colors, as splendid as a rainbow.
8And--but never mind the rest of his outfit; it was just wild, but it was awful funny. The people most killed themselves
9laughing; and when the king got done capering and capered off behind the scenes, they roared and clapped and stormed and
10haw-hawed till he come back and done it over again, and after that they made him do it another time. Well, it would make
11a cow laugh to see the shines that old idiot cut. Then the duke he lets the curtain down, and bows to the people, and
12says the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more, on accounts of pressing London engagements, where the
13seats is all sold already for it in Drury Lane; and then he makes them another bow, and says if he has succeeded in
14pleasing them and instructing them, he will be deeply obleeged if they will mention it to their friends and get them to
15come and see it. Twenty people sings out: "What, is it over? Is that all?" The duke says yes. Then there was a fine
16time. Everybody sings out, "Sold!" and rose up mad, and was a-going for that stage and them tragedians. But a big, fine
17looking man jumps up on a bench and shouts: "Hold on! Just a word, gentlemen." They stopped to listen. "We are
18sold--mighty badly sold. But we don't want to be the laughing stock of this whole town, I reckon, and never hear the
19last of this thing as long as we live. No. What we want is to go out of here quiet, and talk this show up, and sell the
20rest of the town! Then we'll all be in the same boat. Ain't that sensible?" ("You bet it is!--the jedge is right!"
21everybody sings out.) "All right, then--not a word about any sell. Go along home, and advise everybody to come and see
22the tragedy." Next day you couldn't hear nothing around that town but how splendid that show was. House was jammed again
23that night, and we sold this crowd the same way. When me and the king and the duke got home to the raft we all had a
24supper; and by-and-by, about midnight, they made Jim and me back her out and float her down the middle of the river, and
25fetch her in and hide her about two mile below town. The third night the house was crammed again--and they warn't
26new-comers this time, but people that was at the show the other two nights. I stood by the duke at the door, and I see
27that every man that went in had his pockets bulging, or something muffled up under his coat--and I see it warn't no
28perfumery, neither, not by a long sight. I smelt sickly eggs by the barrel, and rotten cabbages, and such things; and if
29I know the signs of a dead cat being around, and I bet I do, there was sixty-four of them went in. I shoved in there for
30a minute, but it was too various for me; I couldn't stand it. Well, when the place couldn't hold no more people the duke
31he give a fellow a quarter and told him to tend door for him a minute, and then he started around for the stage door, I
32after him; but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark he says: "Walk fast now till you get away from the
33houses, and then shin for the raft like the dickens was after you!" I done it, and he done the same. We struck the raft
34at the same time, and in less than two seconds we was gliding down stream, all dark and still, and edging towards the
35middle of the river, nobody saying a word. I reckoned the poor king was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience, but
36nothing of the sort; pretty soon he crawls out from under the wigwam, and says: "Well, how'd the old thing pan out this
37time, duke?" He hadn't been up town at all. We never showed a light till we was about ten mile below the village. Then
38we lit up and had a supper, and the king and the duke fairly laughed their bones loose over the way they'd served them
39people. The duke says: "Greenhorns, flatheads! I knew the first house would keep mum and let the rest of the town get
40roped in; and I knew they'd lay for us the third night, and consider it was their turn now. Well, it is their turn, and
41I'd give something to know how much they'd take for it. I would just like to know how they're putting in their
42opportunity. They can turn it into a picnic if they want to--they brought plenty provisions." Them rapscallions took in
43four hundred and sixty-five dollars in that three nights. I never see money hauled in by the wagon-load like that
44before. By-and-by, when they was asleep and snoring, Jim says: "Don't it s'prise you de way dem kings carries on, Huck?"
45"No," I says, "it don't." "Why don't it, Huck?" "Well, it don't, because it's in the breed. I reckon they're all alike."
46"But, Huck, dese kings o' ourn is reglar rapscallions; dat's jist what dey is; dey's reglar rapscallions." "Well, that's
47what I'm a-saying; all kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out." "Is dat so?"
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