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1The reader may rest satisfied that Tom's and Huck's windfall made a mighty stir in the poor little village of St.
2Petersburg. So vast a sum, all in actual cash, seemed next to incredible. It was talked about, gloated over, glorified,
3until the reason of many of the citizens tottered under the strain of the unhealthy excitement. Every "haunted" house in
4St. Petersburg and the neighboring villages was dissected, plank by plank, and its foundations dug up and ransacked for
5hidden treasure--and not by boys, but men--pretty grave, unromantic men, too, some of them. Wherever Tom and Huck
6appeared they were courted, admired, stared at. The boys were not able to remember that their remarks had possessed
7weight before; but now their sayings were treasured and repeated; everything they did seemed somehow to be regarded as
8remarkable; they had evidently lost the power of doing and saying commonplace things; moreover, their past history was
9raked up and discovered to bear marks of conspicuous originality. The village paper published biographical sketches of
10the boys. The Widow Douglas put Huck's money out at six per cent., and Judge Thatcher did the same with Tom's at Aunt
11Polly's request. Each lad had an income, now, that was simply prodigious--a dollar for every weekday in the year and
12half of the Sundays. It was just what the minister got--no, it was what he was promised--he generally couldn't collect
13it. A dollar and a quarter a week would board, lodge, and school a boy in those old simple days--and clothe him and wash
14him, too, for that matter. Judge Thatcher had conceived a great opinion of Tom. He said that no commonplace boy would
15ever have got his daughter out of the cave. When Becky told her father, in strict confidence, how Tom had taken her
16whipping at school, the Judge was visibly moved; and when she pleaded grace for the mighty lie which Tom had told in
17order to shift that whipping from her shoulders to his own, the Judge said with a fine outburst that it was a noble, a
18generous, a magnanimous lie--a lie that was worthy to hold up its head and march down through history breast to breast
19with George Washington's lauded Truth about the hatchet! Becky thought her father had never looked so tall and so superb
20as when he walked the floor and stamped his foot and said that. She went straight off and told Tom about it. Judge
21Thatcher hoped to see Tom a great lawyer or a great soldier some day. He said he meant to look to it that Tom should be
22admitted to the National Military Academy and afterward trained in the best law school in the country, in order that he
23might be ready for either career or both. Huck Finn's wealth and the fact that he was now under the Widow Douglas'
24protection introduced him into society--no, dragged him into it, hurled him into it--and his sufferings were almost more
25than he could bear. The widow's servants kept him clean and neat, combed and brushed, and they bedded him nightly in
26unsympathetic sheets that had not one little spot or stain which he could press to his heart and know for a friend. He
27had to eat with a knife and fork; he had to use napkin, cup, and plate; he had to learn his book, he had to go to
28church; he had to talk so properly that speech was become insipid in his mouth; whithersoever he turned, the bars and
29shackles of civilization shut him in and bound him hand and foot. He bravely bore his miseries three weeks, and then one
30day turned up missing. For forty-eight hours the widow hunted for him everywhere in great distress. The public were
31profoundly concerned; they searched high and low, they dragged the river for his body. Early the third morning Tom
32Sawyer wisely went poking among some old empty hogsheads down behind the abandoned slaughter-house, and in one of them
33he found the refugee. Huck had slept there; he had just breakfasted upon some stolen odds and ends of food, and was
34lying off, now, in comfort, with his pipe. He was unkempt, uncombed, and clad in the same old ruin of rags that had made
35him picturesque in the days when he was free and happy. Tom routed him out, told him the trouble he had been causing,
36and urged him to go home. Huck's face lost its tranquil content, and took a melancholy cast. He said: "Don't talk about
37it, Tom. I've tried it, and it don't work; it don't work, Tom. It ain't for me; I ain't used to it. The widder's good to
38me, and friendly; but I can't stand them ways. She makes me get up just at the same time every morning; she makes me
39wash, they comb me all to thunder; she won't let me sleep in the woodshed; I got to wear them blamed clothes that just
40smothers me, Tom; they don't seem to any air git through 'em, somehow; and they're so rotten nice that I can't set down,
41nor lay down, nor roll around anywher's; I hain't slid on a cellar-door for--well, it 'pears to be years; I got to go to
42church and sweat and sweat--I hate them ornery sermons! I can't ketch a fly in there, I can't chaw. I got to wear shoes
43all Sunday. The widder eats by a bell; she goes to bed by a bell; she gits up by a bell--everything's so awful reg'lar a
44body can't stand it." "Well, everybody does that way, Huck." "Tom, it don't make no difference. I ain't everybody, and I
45can't stand it. It's awful to be tied up so. And grub comes too easy--I don't take no interest in vittles, that way. I
46got to ask to go a-fishing; I got to ask to go in a-swimming--dern'd if I hain't got to ask to do everything. Well, I'd
47got to talk so nice it wasn't no comfort--I'd got to go up in the attic and rip out awhile, every day, to git a taste in
48my mouth, or I'd a died, Tom. The widder wouldn't let me smoke; she wouldn't let me yell, she wouldn't let me gape, nor
49stretch, nor scratch, before folks--" [Then with a spasm of special irritation and injury]--"And dad fetch it, she
50prayed all the time! I never see such a woman! I had to shove, Tom--I just had to. And besides, that school's going to
51open, and I'd a had to go to it--well, I wouldn't stand that, Tom. Looky-here, Tom, being rich ain't what it's cracked
52up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time. Now these clothes
53suits me, and this bar'l suits me, and I ain't ever going to shake 'em any more. Tom, I wouldn't ever got into all this
54trouble if it hadn't 'a' been for that money; now you just take my sheer of it along with your'n, and gimme a ten-center
55sometimes--not many times, becuz I don't give a dern for a thing 'thout it's tollable hard to git--and you go and beg
56off for me with the widder." "Oh, Huck, you know I can't do that. 'Tain't fair; and besides if you'll try this thing
57just a while longer you'll come to like it." "Like it! Yes--the way I'd like a hot stove if I was to set on it long
58enough. No, Tom, I won't be rich, and I won't live in them cussed smothery houses. I like the woods, and the river, and
59hogsheads, and I'll stick to 'em, too. Blame it all! just as we'd got guns, and a cave, and all just fixed to rob, here
60this dern foolishness has got to come up and spile it all!" Tom saw his opportunity-- "Lookyhere, Huck, being rich ain't
61going to keep me back from turning robber." "No! Oh, good-licks; are you in real dead-wood earnest, Tom?" "Just as dead
62earnest as I'm sitting here. But Huck, we can't let you into the gang if you ain't respectable, you know." Huck's joy
63was quenched. "Can't let me in, Tom? Didn't you let me go for a pirate?" "Yes, but that's different. A robber is more
64high-toned than what a pirate is--as a general thing. In most countries they're awful high up in the nobility--dukes and
65such." "Now, Tom, hain't you always ben friendly to me? You wouldn't shet me out, would you, Tom? You wouldn't do that,
66now, would you, Tom?" "Huck, I wouldn't want to, and I don't want to--but what would people say? Why, they'd say, 'Mph!
67Tom Sawyer's Gang! pretty low characters in it!' They'd mean you, Huck. You wouldn't like that, and I wouldn't." Huck
68was silent for some time, engaged in a mental struggle. Finally he said:
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