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1It was clear that I must repair to our town next day, and in the first flow of my repentance, it was equally clear that
2I must stay at Joe's. But, when I had secured my box-place by to-morrow's coach, and had been down to Mr. Pocket's and
3back, I was not by any means convinced on the last point, and began to invent reasons and make excuses for putting up at
4the Blue Boar. I should be an inconvenience at Joe's; I was not expected, and my bed would not be ready; I should be too
5far from Miss Havisham's, and she was exacting and mightn't like it. All other swindlers upon earth are nothing to the
6self-swindlers, and with such pretences did I cheat myself. Surely a curious thing. That I should innocently take a bad
7half-crown of somebody else's manufacture is reasonable enough; but that I should knowingly reckon the spurious coin of
8my own make as good money! An obliging stranger, under pretence of compactly folding up my bank-notes for security's
9sake, abstracts the notes and gives me nutshells; but what is his sleight of hand to mine, when I fold up my own
10nutshells and pass them on myself as notes! Having settled that I must go to the Blue Boar, my mind was much disturbed
11by indecision whether or not to take the Avenger. It was tempting to think of that expensive Mercenary publicly airing
12his boots in the archway of the Blue Boar's posting-yard; it was almost solemn to imagine him casually produced in the
13tailor's shop, and confounding the disrespectful senses of Trabb's boy. On the other hand, Trabb's boy might worm
14himself into his intimacy and tell him things; or, reckless and desperate wretch as I knew he could be, might hoot him
15in the High Street. My patroness, too, might hear of him, and not approve. On the whole, I resolved to leave the Avenger
16behind. It was the afternoon coach by which I had taken my place, and, as winter had now come round, I should not arrive
17at my destination until two or three hours after dark. Our time of starting from the Cross Keys was two o'clock. I
18arrived on the ground with a quarter of an hour to spare, attended by the Avenger,--if I may connect that expression
19with one who never attended on me if he could possibly help it. At that time it was customary to carry Convicts down to
20the dock-yards by stage-coach. As I had often heard of them in the capacity of outside passengers, and had more than
21once seen them on the high road dangling their ironed legs over the coach roof, I had no cause to be surprised when
22Herbert, meeting me in the yard, came up and told me there were two convicts going down with me. But I had a reason that
23was an old reason now for constitutionally faltering whenever I heard the word "convict." "You don't mind them, Handel?"
24said Herbert. "O no!" "I thought you seemed as if you didn't like them?" "I can't pretend that I do like them, and I
25suppose you don't particularly. But I don't mind them." "See! There they are," said Herbert, "coming out of the Tap.
26What a degraded and vile sight it is!" They had been treating their guard, I suppose, for they had a gaoler with them,
27and all three came out wiping their mouths on their hands. The two convicts were handcuffed together, and had irons on
28their legs,--irons of a pattern that I knew well. They wore the dress that I likewise knew well. Their keeper had a
29brace of pistols, and carried a thick-knobbed bludgeon under his arm; but he was on terms of good understanding with
30them, and stood with them beside him, looking on at the putting-to of the horses, rather with an air as if the convicts
31were an interesting Exhibition not formally open at the moment, and he the Curator. One was a taller and stouter man
32than the other, and appeared as a matter of course, according to the mysterious ways of the world, both convict and
33free, to have had allotted to him the smaller suit of clothes. His arms and legs were like great pincushions of those
34shapes, and his attire disguised him absurdly; but I knew his half-closed eye at one glance. There stood the man whom I
35had seen on the settle at the Three Jolly Bargemen on a Saturday night, and who had brought me down with his invisible
36gun! It was easy to make sure that as yet he knew me no more than if he had never seen me in his life. He looked across
37at me, and his eye appraised my watch-chain, and then he incidentally spat and said something to the other convict, and
38they laughed and slued themselves round with a clink of their coupling manacle, and looked at something else. The great
39numbers on their backs, as if they were street doors; their coarse mangy ungainly outer surface, as if they were lower
40animals; their ironed legs, apologetically garlanded with pocket-handkerchiefs; and the way in which all present looked
41at them and kept from them; made them (as Herbert had said) a most disagreeable and degraded spectacle. But this was not
42the worst of it. It came out that the whole of the back of the coach had been taken by a family removing from London,
43and that there were no places for the two prisoners but on the seat in front behind the coachman. Hereupon, a choleric
44gentleman, who had taken the fourth place on that seat, flew into a most violent passion, and said that it was a breach
45of contract to mix him up with such villainous company, and that it was poisonous, and pernicious, and infamous, and
46shameful, and I don't know what else. At this time the coach was ready and the coachman impatient, and we were all
47preparing to get up, and the prisoners had come over with their keeper,--bringing with them that curious flavour of
48bread-poultice, baize, rope-yarn, and hearthstone, which attends the convict presence. "Don't take it so much amiss,
49sir," pleaded the keeper to the angry passenger; "I'll sit next you myself. I'll put 'em on the outside of the row. They
50won't interfere with you, sir. You needn't know they're there." "And don't blame me," growled the convict I had
51recognised. "I don't want to go. I am quite ready to stay behind. As fur as I am concerned any one's welcome to my
52place." "Or mine," said the other, gruffly. "I wouldn't have incommoded none of you, if I'd had my way." Then they both
53laughed, and began cracking nuts, and spitting the shells about.--As I really think I should have liked to do myself, if
54I had been in their place and so despised. At length, it was voted that there was no help for the angry gentleman, and
55that he must either go in his chance company or remain behind. So he got into his place, still making complaints, and
56the keeper got into the place next him, and the convicts hauled themselves up as well as they could, and the convict I
57had recognised sat behind me with his breath on the hair of my head. "Good-bye, Handel!" Herbert called out as we
58started. I thought what a blessed fortune it was, that he had found another name for me than Pip. It is impossible to
59express with what acuteness I felt the convict's breathing, not only on the back of my head, but all along my spine. The
60sensation was like being touched in the marrow with some pungent and searching acid, it set my very teeth on edge. He
61seemed to have more breathing business to do than another man, and to make more noise in doing it; and I was conscious
62of growing high-shouldered on one side, in my shrinking endeavours to fend him off. The weather was miserably raw, and
63the two cursed the cold. It made us all lethargic before we had gone far, and when we had left the Half-way House
64behind, we habitually dozed and shivered and were silent. I dozed off, myself, in considering the question whether I
65ought to restore a couple of pounds sterling to this creature before losing sight of him, and how it could best be done.
66In the act of dipping forward as if I were going to bathe among the horses, I woke in a fright and took the question up
67again.
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