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1Catherine could almost have accused Isabella of being wanting in tenderness towards herself and her sorrows, so very
2little did they appear to dwell on her mind, and so very inadequate was the comfort she offered. "Do not be so dull, my
3dearest creature," she whispered. "You will quite break my heart. It was amazingly shocking, to be sure; but the Tilneys
4were entirely to blame. Why were not they more punctual? It was dirty, indeed, but what did that signify? I am sure John
5and I should not have minded it. I never mind going through anything, where a friend is concerned; that is my
6disposition, and John is just the same; he has amazing strong feelings. Good heavens! what a delightful hand you have
7got! kings, I vow! i never was so happy in my life! i would fifty times rather you should have them than myself." And
8now I may dismiss my heroine to the sleepless couch, which is the true heroine's portion; to a pillow strewed with
9thorns and wet with tears. And lucky may she think herself, if she get another good night's rest in the course of the
10next three months. CHAPTER 12 "Mrs. Allen," said Catherine the next morning, "will there be any harm in my calling on
11Miss Tilney to-day? I shall not be easy till I have explained everything." "Go, by all means, my dear; only put on a
12white gown; Miss Tilney always wears white." Catherine cheerfully complied, and being properly equipped, was more
13impatient than ever to be at the pump-room, that she might inform herself of General Tilney's lodgings, for though she
14believed they were in Milsom Street, she was not certain of the house, and Mrs. Allen's wavering convictions only made
15it more doubtful. To Milsom Street she was directed, and having made herself perfect in the number, hastened away with
16eager steps and a beating heart to pay her visit, explain her conduct, and be forgiven; tripping lightly through the
17church-yard, and resolutely turning away her eyes, that she might not be obliged to see her beloved Isabella and her
18dear family, who, she had reason to believe, were in a shop hard by. She reached the house without any impediment,
19looked at the number, knocked at the door, and inquired for Miss Tilney. The man believed Miss Tilney to be at home, but
20was not quite certain. Would she be pleased to send up her name? She gave her card. In a few minutes the servant
21returned, and with a look which did not quite confirm his words, said he had been mistaken, for that Miss Tilney was
22walked out. Catherine, with a blush of mortification, left the house. She felt almost persuaded that Miss Tilney was at
23home, and too much offended to admit her; and as she retired down the street, could not withhold one glance at the
24drawing-room windows, in expectation of seeing her there, but no one appeared at them. At the bottom of the street,
25however, she looked back again, and then, not at a window, but issuing from the door, she saw Miss Tilney herself. She
26was followed by a gentleman, whom Catherine believed to be her father, and they turned up towards Edgar's Buildings.
27Catherine, in deep mortification, proceeded on her way. She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility; but
28she checked the resentful sensation; she remembered her own ignorance. She knew not how such an offence as hers might be
29classed by the laws of worldly politeness, to what a degree of unforgivingness it might with propriety lead, nor to what
30rigours of rudeness in return it might justly make her amenable. Dejected and humbled, she had even some thoughts of not
31going with the others to the theatre that night; but it must be confessed that they were not of long continuance, for
32she soon recollected, in the first place, that she was without any excuse for staying at home; and, in the second, that
33it was a play she wanted very much to see. To the theatre accordingly they all went; no Tilneys appeared to plague or
34please her; she feared that, amongst the many perfections of the family, a fondness for plays was not to be ranked; but
35perhaps it was because they were habituated to the finer performances of the London stage, which she knew, on Isabella's
36authority, rendered everything else of the kind "quite horrid." She was not deceived in her own expectation of pleasure;
37the comedy so well suspended her care that no one, observing her during the first four acts, would have supposed she had
38any wretchedness about her. On the beginning of the fifth, however, the sudden view of Mr. Henry Tilney and his father,
39joining a party in the opposite box, recalled her to anxiety and distress. The stage could no longer excite genuine
40merriment--no longer keep her whole attention. Every other look upon an average was directed towards the opposite box;
41and, for the space of two entire scenes, did she thus watch Henry Tilney, without being once able to catch his eye. No
42longer could he be suspected of indifference for a play; his notice was never withdrawn from the stage during two whole
43scenes. At length, however, he did look towards her, and he bowed--but such a bow! no smile, no continued observance
44attended it; his eyes were immediately returned to their former direction. Catherine was restlessly miserable; she could
45almost have run round to the box in which he sat and forced him to hear her explanation. Feelings rather natural than
46heroic possessed her; instead of considering her own dignity injured by this ready condemnation--instead of proudly
47resolving, in conscious innocence, to show her resentment towards him who could harbour a doubt of it, to leave to him
48all the trouble of seeking an explanation, and to enlighten him on the past only by avoiding his sight, or flirting with
49somebody else--she took to herself all the shame of misconduct, or at least of its appearance, and was only eager for an
50opportunity of explaining its cause. The play concluded--the curtain fell--Henry Tilney was no longer to be seen where
51he had hitherto sat, but his father remained, and perhaps he might be now coming round to their box. She was right; in a
52few minutes he appeared, and, making his way through the then thinning rows, spoke with like calm politeness to Mrs.
53Allen and her friend. Not with such calmness was he answered by the latter: "Oh! mr. Tilney, I have been quite wild to
54speak to you, and make my apologies. You must have thought me so rude; but indeed it was not my own fault, was it, Mrs.
55Allen? Did not they tell me that Mr. Tilney and his sister were gone out in a phaeton together? And then what could I
56do? But I had ten thousand times rather have been with you; now had not I, Mrs. Allen?" "My dear, you tumble my gown,"
57was Mrs. Allen's reply. Her assurance, however, standing sole as it did, was not thrown away; it brought a more cordial,
58more natural smile into his countenance, and he replied in a tone which retained only a little affected reserve: "We
59were much obliged to you at any rate for wishing us a pleasant walk after our passing you in Argyle Street: you were so
60kind as to look back on purpose." "But indeed I did not wish you a pleasant walk; I never thought of such a thing; but I
61begged Mr. Thorpe so earnestly to stop; I called out to him as soon as ever I saw you; now, Mrs. Allen, did not--Oh! you
62were not there; but indeed I did; and, if Mr. Thorpe would only have stopped, I would have jumped out and run after
63you." Is there a Henry in the world who could be insensible to such a declaration? Henry Tilney at least was not. With a
64yet sweeter smile, he said everything that need be said of his sister's concern, regret, and dependence on Catherine's
65honour. "Oh, do not say Miss Tilney was not angry," cried Catherine, "because I know she was; for she would not see me
66this morning when I called; I saw her walk out of the house the next minute after my leaving it; I was hurt, but I was
67not affronted. Perhaps you did not know I had been there."
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