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1In this unceasing recurrence of doubts and inquiries, on any one article of which her mind was incapable of more than
2momentary repose, the hours passed away, and her journey advanced much faster than she looked for. The pressing
3anxieties of thought, which prevented her from noticing anything before her, when once beyond the neighbourhood of
4Woodston, saved her at the same time from watching her progress; and though no object on the road could engage a
5moment's attention, she found no stage of it tedious. From this, she was preserved too by another cause, by feeling no
6eagerness for her journey's conclusion; for to return in such a manner to Fullerton was almost to destroy the pleasure
7of a meeting with those she loved best, even after an absence such as hers--an eleven weeks' absence. What had she to
8say that would not humble herself and pain her family, that would not increase her own grief by the confession of it,
9extend an useless resentment, and perhaps involve the innocent with the guilty in undistinguishing ill will? She could
10never do justice to Henry and Eleanor's merit; she felt it too strongly for expression; and should a dislike be taken
11against them, should they be thought of unfavourably, on their father's account, it would cut her to the heart. With
12these feelings, she rather dreaded than sought for the first view of that well-known spire which would announce her
13within twenty miles of home. Salisbury she had known to be her point on leaving Northanger; but after the first stage
14she had been indebted to the post-masters for the names of the places which were then to conduct her to it; so great had
15been her ignorance of her route. She met with nothing, however, to distress or frighten her. Her youth, civil manners,
16and liberal pay procured her all the attention that a traveller like herself could require; and stopping only to change
17horses, she travelled on for about eleven hours without accident or alarm, and between six and seven o'clock in the
18evening found herself entering Fullerton. A heroine returning, at the close of her career, to her native village, in all
19the triumph of recovered reputation, and all the dignity of a countess, with a long train of noble relations in their
20several phaetons, and three waiting-maids in a travelling chaise and four, behind her, is an event on which the pen of
21the contriver may well delight to dwell; it gives credit to every conclusion, and the author must share in the glory she
22so liberally bestows. But my affair is widely different; I bring back my heroine to her home in solitude and disgrace;
23and no sweet elation of spirits can lead me into minuteness. A heroine in a hack post-chaise is such a blow upon
24sentiment, as no attempt at grandeur or pathos can withstand. Swiftly therefore shall her post-boy drive through the
25village, amid the gaze of Sunday groups, and speedy shall be her descent from it. But, whatever might be the distress of
26Catherine's mind, as she thus advanced towards the parsonage, and whatever the humiliation of her biographer in relating
27it, she was preparing enjoyment of no everyday nature for those to whom she went; first, in the appearance of her
28carriage--and secondly, in herself. The chaise of a traveller being a rare sight in Fullerton, the whole family were
29immediately at the window; and to have it stop at the sweep-gate was a pleasure to brighten every eye and occupy every
30fancy--a pleasure quite unlooked for by all but the two youngest children, a boy and girl of six and four years old, who
31expected a brother or sister in every carriage. Happy the glance that first distinguished Catherine! happy the voice
32that proclaimed the discovery! but whether such happiness were the lawful property of George or Harriet could never be
33exactly understood. Her father, mother, Sarah, George, and Harriet, all assembled at the door to welcome her with
34affectionate eagerness, was a sight to awaken the best feelings of Catherine's heart; and in the embrace of each, as she
35stepped from the carriage, she found herself soothed beyond anything that she had believed possible. So surrounded, so
36caressed, she was even happy! in the joyfulness of family love everything for a short time was subdued, and the pleasure
37of seeing her, leaving them at first little leisure for calm curiosity, they were all seated round the tea-table, which
38Mrs. Morland had hurried for the comfort of the poor traveller, whose pale and jaded looks soon caught her notice,
39before any inquiry so direct as to demand a positive answer was addressed to her. Reluctantly, and with much hesitation,
40did she then begin what might perhaps, at the end of half an hour, be termed, by the courtesy of her hearers, an
41explanation; but scarcely, within that time, could they at all discover the cause, or collect the particulars, of her
42sudden return. They were far from being an irritable race; far from any quickness in catching, or bitterness in
43resenting, affronts: but here, when the whole was unfolded, was an insult not to be overlooked, nor, for the first half
44hour, to be easily pardoned. Without suffering any romantic alarm, in the consideration of their daughter's long and
45lonely journey, Mr. and Mrs. Morland could not but feel that it might have been productive of much unpleasantness to
46her; that it was what they could never have voluntarily suffered; and that, in forcing her on such a measure, General
47Tilney had acted neither honourably nor feelingly--neither as a gentleman nor as a parent. Why he had done it, what
48could have provoked him to such a breach of hospitality, and so suddenly turned all his partial regard for their
49daughter into actual ill will, was a matter which they were at least as far from divining as Catherine herself; but it
50did not oppress them by any means so long; and, after a due course of useless conjecture, that "it was a strange
51business, and that he must be a very strange man," grew enough for all their indignation and wonder; though Sarah indeed
52still indulged in the sweets of incomprehensibility, exclaiming and conjecturing with youthful ardour. "My dear, you
53give yourself a great deal of needless trouble," said her mother at last; "depend upon it, it is something not at all
54worth understanding." "I can allow for his wishing Catherine away, when he recollected this engagement," said Sarah,
55"but why not do it civilly?" "I am sorry for the young people," returned Mrs. Morland; "they must have a sad time of it;
56but as for anything else, it is no matter now; Catherine is safe at home, and our comfort does not depend upon General
57Tilney." Catherine sighed. "Well," continued her philosophic mother, "I am glad I did not know of your journey at the
58time; but now it is all over, perhaps there is no great harm done. It is always good for young people to be put upon
59exerting themselves; and you know, my dear Catherine, you always were a sad little scatter-brained creature; but now you
60must have been forced to have your wits about you, with so much changing of chaises and so forth; and I hope it will
61appear that you have not left anything behind you in any of the pockets." Catherine hoped so too, and tried to feel an
62interest in her own amendment, but her spirits were quite worn down; and, to be silent and alone becoming soon her only
63wish, she readily agreed to her mother's next counsel of going early to bed. Her parents, seeing nothing in her ill
64looks and agitation but the natural consequence of mortified feelings, and of the unusual exertion and fatigue of such a
65journey, parted from her without any doubt of their being soon slept away; and though, when they all met the next
66morning, her recovery was not equal to their hopes, they were still perfectly unsuspicious of there being any deeper
67evil. They never once thought of her heart, which, for the parents of a young lady of seventeen, just returned from her
68first excursion from home, was odd enough!
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