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1"It is not at all what I like," he continued. "No man can like being driven into the appearance of such inconsistency.
2After being known to oppose the scheme from the beginning, there is absurdity in the face of my joining them now, when
3they are exceeding their first plan in every respect; but I can think of no other alternative. Can you, Fanny?" "No,"
4said Fanny slowly, "not immediately, but--" "But what? I see your judgment is not with me. Think it a little over.
5Perhaps you are not so much aware as I am of the mischief that may, of the unpleasantness that must arise from a young
6man's being received in this manner: domesticated among us; authorised to come at all hours, and placed suddenly on a
7footing which must do away all restraints. To think only of the licence which every rehearsal must tend to create. It is
8all very bad! Put yourself in Miss Crawford's place, Fanny. Consider what it would be to act Amelia with a stranger. She
9has a right to be felt for, because she evidently feels for herself. I heard enough of what she said to you last night
10to understand her unwillingness to be acting with a stranger; and as she probably engaged in the part with different
11expectations--perhaps without considering the subject enough to know what was likely to be--it would be ungenerous, it
12would be really wrong to expose her to it. Her feelings ought to be respected. Does it not strike you so, Fanny? You
13hesitate." "I am sorry for Miss Crawford; but I am more sorry to see you drawn in to do what you had resolved against,
14and what you are known to think will be disagreeable to my uncle. It will be such a triumph to the others!" "They will
15not have much cause of triumph when they see how infamously I act. But, however, triumph there certainly will be, and I
16must brave it. But if I can be the means of restraining the publicity of the business, of limiting the exhibition, of
17concentrating our folly, I shall be well repaid. As I am now, I have no influence, I can do nothing: I have offended
18them, and they will not hear me; but when I have put them in good-humour by this concession, I am not without hopes of
19persuading them to confine the representation within a much smaller circle than they are now in the high road for. This
20will be a material gain. My object is to confine it to Mrs. Rushworth and the Grants. Will not this be worth gaining?"
21"Yes, it will be a great point." "But still it has not your approbation. Can you mention any other measure by which I
22have a chance of doing equal good?" "No, I cannot think of anything else." "Give me your approbation, then, Fanny. I am
23not comfortable without it." "Oh, cousin!" "If you are against me, I ought to distrust myself, and yet--But it is
24absolutely impossible to let Tom go on in this way, riding about the country in quest of anybody who can be persuaded to
25act--no matter whom: the look of a gentleman is to be enough. I thought you would have entered more into Miss Crawford's
26feelings." "No doubt she will be very glad. It must be a great relief to her," said Fanny, trying for greater warmth of
27manner. "She never appeared more amiable than in her behaviour to you last night. It gave her a very strong claim on my
28goodwill." "She was very kind, indeed, and I am glad to have her spared"... She could not finish the generous effusion.
29Her conscience stopt her in the middle, but Edmund was satisfied. "I shall walk down immediately after breakfast," said
30he, "and am sure of giving pleasure there. And now, dear Fanny, I will not interrupt you any longer. You want to be
31reading. But I could not be easy till I had spoken to you, and come to a decision. Sleeping or waking, my head has been
32full of this matter all night. It is an evil, but I am certainly making it less than it might be. If Tom is up, I shall
33go to him directly and get it over, and when we meet at breakfast we shall be all in high good-humour at the prospect of
34acting the fool together with such unanimity. You, in the meanwhile, will be taking a trip into China, I suppose. How
35does Lord Macartney go on?"--opening a volume on the table and then taking up some others. "And here are Crabbe's Tales,
36and the Idler, at hand to relieve you, if you tire of your great book. I admire your little establishment exceedingly;
37and as soon as I am gone, you will empty your head of all this nonsense of acting, and sit comfortably down to your
38table. But do not stay here to be cold." He went; but there was no reading, no China, no composure for Fanny. He had
39told her the most extraordinary, the most inconceivable, the most unwelcome news; and she could think of nothing else.
40To be acting! After all his objections--objections so just and so public! After all that she had heard him say, and seen
41him look, and known him to be feeling. Could it be possible? Edmund so inconsistent! Was he not deceiving himself? Was
42he not wrong? Alas! it was all Miss Crawford's doing. She had seen her influence in every speech, and was miserable. The
43doubts and alarms as to her own conduct, which had previously distressed her, and which had all slept while she listened
44to him, were become of little consequence now. This deeper anxiety swallowed them up. Things should take their course;
45she cared not how it ended. Her cousins might attack, but could hardly tease her. She was beyond their reach; and if at
46last obliged to yield--no matter--it was all misery now.
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