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1I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance; and still less could I understand or
2sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her chastiser. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a
3light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply; like
4Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season. "You say you have faults, Helen: what are they? To me you seem very
5good." "Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd said, slatternly; I seldom put, and
6never keep, things in order; I am careless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have no method; and
7sometimes I say, like you, I cannot bear to be subjected to systematic arrangements. This is all very provoking to Miss
8Scatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular." "And cross and cruel," I added; but Helen Burns would not
9admit my addition: she kept silence. "Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?" At the utterance of Miss
10Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her grave face. "Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to
11any one, even the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them gently; and, if I do anything worthy of
12praise, she gives me my meed liberally. One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that even her
13expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure me of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it
14most highly, cannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight." "That is curious," said I, "it is so easy to be
15careful." "For you I have no doubt it is. I observed you in your class this morning, and saw you were closely attentive:
16your thoughts never seemed to wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you. Now, mine continually
17rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd, and collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the
18very sound of her voice; I fall into a sort of dream. Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and that the noises I
19hear round me are the bubbling of a little brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;--then, when it comes to my
20turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard nothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I
21have no answer ready." "Yet how well you replied this afternoon." "It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been
22reading had interested me. This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was wondering how a man who wished to do
23right could act so unjustly and unwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it was that, with
24his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no farther than the prerogatives of the crown. If he had but been able
25to look to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was tending! Still, I like Charles--I respect
26him--I pity him, poor murdered king! Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right to shed. How
27dared they kill him!" Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well understand her--that I
28was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she discussed. I recalled her to my level. "And when Miss Temple teaches you,
29do your thoughts wander then?" "No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to say which is
30newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly agreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often
31just what I wished to gain." "Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?" "Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I
32follow as inclination guides me. There is no merit in such goodness." "A great deal: you are good to those who are good
33to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the
34wicked people would have it all their own way: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would
35grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we
36should--so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again." "You will change your mind, I hope, when you
37grow older: as yet you are but a little untaught girl." "But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do
38to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as that I should
39love those who show me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved." "Heathens and savage tribes hold
40that doctrine, but Christians and civilised nations disown it." "How? I don't understand." "It is not violence that best
41overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury." "What then?" "Read the New Testament, and observe what
42Christ says, and how He acts; make His word your rule, and His conduct your example." "What does He say?" "Love your
43enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you and despitefully use you." "Then I should love Mrs.
44Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son John, which is impossible." In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to
45explain, and I proceeded forthwith to pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments. Bitter and
46truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or softening. Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected
47she would then make a remark, but she said nothing. "Well," I asked impatiently, "is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad
48woman?" "She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd
49does mine; but how minutely you remember all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her
50injustice seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier
51if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to
52be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs. We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in this
53world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when
54debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will
55remain,--the impalpable principle of light and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence
56it came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man--perhaps to pass through
57gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph! Surely it will never, on the contrary, be
58suffered to degenerate from man to fiend? No; I cannot believe that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me,
59and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for it extends hope to all: it makes Eternity
60a rest--a mighty home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the
61criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never
62worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking
63to the end." Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this sentence. I saw by her look she
64wished no longer to talk to me, but rather to converse with her own thoughts. She was not allowed much time for
65meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up, exclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent-- "Helen Burns,
66if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up your work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and
67look at it!" Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay.
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