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1"It appears not: I fancy neither she nor her sister have very large fortunes. Old Lord Ingram's estates were chiefly
2entailed, and the eldest son came in for everything almost." "But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman has taken a
3fancy to her: Mr. Rochester, for instance. He is rich, is he not?" "Oh! yes. But you see there is a considerable
4difference in age: Mr. Rochester is nearly forty; she is but twenty-five." "What of that? More unequal matches are made
5every day." "True: yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester would entertain an idea of the sort. But you eat nothing:
6you have scarcely tasted since you began tea." "No: I am too thirsty to eat. Will you let me have another cup?" I was
7about again to revert to the probability of a union between Mr. Rochester and the beautiful Blanche; but Adèle came in,
8and the conversation was turned into another channel. When once more alone, I reviewed the information I had got; looked
9into my heart, examined its thoughts and feelings, and endeavoured to bring back with a strict hand such as had been
10straying through imagination's boundless and trackless waste, into the safe fold of common sense. Arraigned at my own
11bar, Memory having given her evidence of the hopes, wishes, sentiments I had been cherishing since last night--of the
12general state of mind in which I had indulged for nearly a fortnight past; Reason having come forward and told, in her
13own quiet way, a plain, unvarnished tale, showing how I had rejected the real, and rabidly devoured the ideal;--I
14pronounced judgment to this effect:-- That a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath of life; that a
15more fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies, and swallowed poison as if it were nectar. "You," I
16said, "a favourite with Mr. Rochester? You gifted with the power of pleasing him? You of importance to him in any way?
17Go! your folly sickens me. And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference--equivocal tokens shown by
18a gentleman of family and a man of the world to a dependent and a novice. How dared you? Poor stupid dupe!--Could not
19even self-interest make you wiser? You repeated to yourself this morning the brief scene of last night?--Cover your face
20and be ashamed! He said something in praise of your eyes, did he? Blind puppy! Open their bleared lids and look on your
21own accursed senselessness! It does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to
22marry her; and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown,
23must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds
24whence there is no extrication. "Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: to-morrow, place the glass before you, and
25draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully, without softening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away no displeasing
26irregularity; write under it, 'Portrait of a Governess, disconnected, poor, and plain.' "Afterwards, take a piece of
27smooth ivory--you have one prepared in your drawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest tints;
28choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils; delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in your
29softest shades and sweetest lines, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram; remember the
30raven ringlets, the oriental eye;--What! you revert to Mr. Rochester as a model! Order! No snivel!--no sentiment!--no
31regret! I will endure only sense and resolution. Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust;
32let the round and dazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet; portray
33faithfully the attire, aërial lace and glistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche, an
34accomplished lady of rank.' "Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks well of you, take out
35these two pictures and compare them: say, 'Mr. Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he chose to
36strive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this indigent and insignificant plebeian?'" "I'll do
37it," I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew calm, and fell asleep. I kept my word. An hour or two
38sufficed to sketch my own portrait in crayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature of an
39imaginary Blanche Ingram. It looked a lovely face enough, and when compared with the real head in chalk, the contrast
40was as great as self-control could desire. I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my head and hands employed, and
41had given force and fixedness to the new impressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart. Ere long, I had reason to
42congratulate myself on the course of wholesome discipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit. Thanks to
43it, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which, had they found me unprepared, I should probably
44have been unequal to maintain, even externally.
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