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1They are making hay, too, in Thornfield meadows: or rather, the labourers are just quitting their work, and returning
2home with their rakes on their shoulders, now, at the hour I arrive. I have but a field or two to traverse, and then I
3shall cross the road and reach the gates. How full the hedges are of roses! But I have no time to gather any; I want to
4be at the house. I passed a tall briar, shooting leafy and flowery branches across the path; I see the narrow stile with
5stone steps; and I see--Mr. Rochester sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand; he is writing. Well, he is not a
6ghost; yet every nerve I have is unstrung: for a moment I am beyond my own mastery. What does it mean? I did not think I
7should tremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of motion in his presence. I will go back as
8soon as I can stir: I need not make an absolute fool of myself. I know another way to the house. It does not signify if
9I knew twenty ways; for he has seen me. "Hillo!" he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil. "There you are! Come
10on, if you please." I suppose I do come on; though in what fashion I know not; being scarcely cognisant of my movements,
11and solicitous only to appear calm; and, above all, to control the working muscles of my face--which I feel rebel
12insolently against my will, and struggle to express what I had resolved to conceal. But I have a veil--it is down: I may
13make shift yet to behave with decent composure. "And this is Jane Eyre? Are you coming from Millcote, and on foot?
14Yes--just one of your tricks: not to send for a carriage, and come clattering over street and road like a common mortal,
15but to steal into the vicinage of your home along with twilight, just as if you were a dream or a shade. What the deuce
16have you done with yourself this last month?" "I have been with my aunt, sir, who is dead." "A true Janian reply! Good
17angels be my guard! She comes from the other world--from the abode of people who are dead; and tells me so when she
18meets me alone here in the gloaming! If I dared, I'd touch you, to see if you are substance or shadow, you elf!--but I'd
19as soon offer to take hold of a blue ignis fatuus light in a marsh. Truant! truant!" he added, when he had paused an
20instant. "Absent from me a whole month, and forgetting me quite, I'll be sworn!" I knew there would be pleasure in
21meeting my master again, even though broken by the fear that he was so soon to cease to be my master, and by the
22knowledge that I was nothing to him: but there was ever in Mr. Rochester (so at least I thought) such a wealth of the
23power of communicating happiness, that to taste but of the crumbs he scattered to stray and stranger birds like me, was
24to feast genially. His last words were balm: they seemed to imply that it imported something to him whether I forgot him
25or not. And he had spoken of Thornfield as my home--would that it were my home! He did not leave the stile, and I hardly
26liked to ask to go by. I inquired soon if he had not been to London. "Yes; I suppose you found that out by
27second-sight." "Mrs. Fairfax told me in a letter." "And did she inform you what I went to do?" "Oh, yes, sir! Everybody
28knew your errand." "You must see the carriage, Jane, and tell me if you don't think it will suit Mrs. Rochester exactly;
29and whether she won't look like Queen Boadicea, leaning back against those purple cushions. I wish, Jane, I were a
30trifle better adapted to match with her externally. Tell me now, fairy as you are--can't you give me a charm, or a
31philter, or something of that sort, to make me a handsome man?" "It would be past the power of magic, sir;" and, in
32thought, I added, "A loving eye is all the charm needed: to such you are handsome enough; or rather your sternness has a
33power beyond beauty." Mr. Rochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts with an acumen to me incomprehensible: in
34the present instance he took no notice of my abrupt vocal response; but he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of
35his own, and which he used but on rare occasions. He seemed to think it too good for common purposes: it was the real
36sunshine of feeling--he shed it over me now. "Pass, Janet," said he, making room for me to cross the stile: "go up home,
37and stay your weary little wandering feet at a friend's threshold." All I had now to do was to obey him in silence: no
38need for me to colloquise further. I got over the stile without a word, and meant to leave him calmly. An impulse held
39me fast--a force turned me round. I said--or something in me said for me, and in spite of me-- "Thank you, Mr.
40Rochester, for your great kindness. I am strangely glad to get back again to you: and wherever you are is my home--my
41only home." I walked on so fast that even he could hardly have overtaken me had he tried. Little Adèle was half wild
42with delight when she saw me. Mrs. Fairfax received me with her usual plain friendliness. Leah smiled, and even Sophie
43bid me "bon soir" with glee. This was very pleasant; there is no happiness like that of being loved by your
44fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort. I that evening shut my eyes resolutely
45against the future: I stopped my ears against the voice that kept warning me of near separation and coming grief. When
46tea was over and Mrs. Fairfax had taken her knitting, and I had assumed a low seat near her, and Adèle, kneeling on the
47carpet, had nestled close up to me, and a sense of mutual affection seemed to surround us with a ring of golden peace, I
48uttered a silent prayer that we might not be parted far or soon; but when, as we thus sat, Mr. Rochester entered,
49unannounced, and looking at us, seemed to take pleasure in the spectacle of a group so amicable--when he said he
50supposed the old lady was all right now that she had got her adopted daughter back again, and added that he saw Adèle
51was "prête à croquer sa petite maman Anglaise"--I half ventured to hope that he would, even after his marriage, keep us
52together somewhere under the shelter of his protection, and not quite exiled from the sunshine of his presence. A
53fortnight of dubious calm succeeded my return to Thornfield Hall. Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw
54no preparation going on for such an event. Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had yet heard anything decided:
55her answer was always in the negative. Once she said she had actually put the question to Mr. Rochester as to when he
56was going to bring his bride home; but he had answered her only by a joke and one of his queer looks, and she could not
57tell what to make of him. One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there were no journeyings backward and
58forward, no visits to Ingram Park: to be sure it was twenty miles off, on the borders of another county; but what was
59that distance to an ardent lover? To so practised and indefatigable a horseman as Mr. Rochester, it would be but a
60morning's ride. I began to cherish hopes I had no right to conceive: that the match was broken off; that rumour had been
61mistaken; that one or both parties had changed their minds. I used to look at my master's face to see if it were sad or
62fierce; but I could not remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or evil feelings. If, in the
63moments I and my pupil spent with him, I lacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection, he became even gay. Never
64had he called me more frequently to his presence; never been kinder to me when there--and, alas! never had I loved him
65so well.
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