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1"Oh, Adèle will go to school--I have settled that already; nor do I mean to torment you with the hideous associations
2and recollections of Thornfield Hall--this accursed place--this tent of Achan--this insolent vault, offering the
3ghastliness of living death to the light of the open sky--this narrow stone hell, with its one real fiend, worse than a
4legion of such as we imagine. Jane, you shall not stay here, nor will I. I was wrong ever to bring you to Thornfield
5Hall, knowing as I did how it was haunted. I charged them to conceal from you, before I ever saw you, all knowledge of
6the curse of the place; merely because I feared Adèle never would have a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate
7she was housed, and my plans would not permit me to remove the maniac elsewhere--though I possess an old house, Ferndean
8Manor, even more retired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely enough, had not a scruple about the
9unhealthiness of the situation, in the heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement. Probably those
10damp walls would soon have eased me of her charge: but to each villain his own vice; and mine is not a tendency to
11indirect assassination, even of what I most hate. "Concealing the mad-woman's neighbourhood from you, however, was
12something like covering a child with a cloak and laying it down near a upas-tree: that demon's vicinage is poisoned, and
13always was. But I'll shut up Thornfield Hall: I'll nail up the front door and board the lower windows: I'll give Mrs.
14Poole two hundred a year to live here with my wife, as you term that fearful hag: Grace will do much for money, and she
15shall have her son, the keeper at Grimsby Retreat, to bear her company and be at hand to give her aid in the paroxysms,
16when my wife is prompted by her familiar to burn people in their beds at night, to stab them, to bite their flesh from
17their bones, and so on--" "Sir," I interrupted him, "you are inexorable for that unfortunate lady: you speak of her with
18hate--with vindictive antipathy. It is cruel--she cannot help being mad." "Jane, my little darling (so I will call you,
19for so you are), you don't know what you are talking about; you misjudge me again: it is not because she is mad I hate
20her. If you were mad, do you think I should hate you?" "I do indeed, sir." "Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing
21about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own:
22in pain and sickness it would still be dear. Your mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure
23still: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait waistcoat--your grasp, even in fury, would have a
24charm for me: if you flew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you in an embrace, at least
25as fond as it would be restrictive. I should not shrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments
26you should have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you with untiring tenderness, though you gave me
27no smile in return; and never weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of recognition for
28me.--But why do I follow that train of ideas? I was talking of removing you from Thornfield. All, you know, is prepared
29for prompt departure: to-morrow you shall go. I only ask you to endure one more night under this roof, Jane; and then,
30farewell to its miseries and terrors for ever! I have a place to repair to, which will be a secure sanctuary from
31hateful reminiscences, from unwelcome intrusion--even from falsehood and slander." "And take Adèle with you, sir," I
32interrupted; "she will be a companion for you." "What do you mean, Jane? I told you I would send Adèle to school; and
33what do I want with a child for a companion, and not my own child,--a French dancer's bastard? Why do you importune me
34about her! I say, why do you assign Adèle to me for a companion?" "You spoke of a retirement, sir; and retirement and
35solitude are dull: too dull for you." "Solitude! solitude!" he reiterated with irritation. "I see I must come to an
36explanation. I don't know what sphynx-like expression is forming in your countenance. You are to share my solitude. Do
37you understand?" I shook my head: it required a degree of courage, excited as he was becoming, even to risk that mute
38sign of dissent. He had been walking fast about the room, and he stopped, as if suddenly rooted to one spot. He looked
39at me long and hard: I turned my eyes from him, fixed them on the fire, and tried to assume and maintain a quiet,
40collected aspect. "Now for the hitch in Jane's character," he said at last, speaking more calmly than from his look I
41had expected him to speak. "The reel of silk has run smoothly enough so far; but I always knew there would come a knot
42and a puzzle: here it is. Now for vexation, and exasperation, and endless trouble! By God! I long to exert a fraction of
43Samson's strength, and break the entanglement like tow!" He recommenced his walk, but soon again stopped, and this time
44just before me. "Jane! will you hear reason?" (he stooped and approached his lips to my ear); "because, if you won't,
45I'll try violence." His voice was hoarse; his look that of a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond and
46plunge headlong into wild license. I saw that in another moment, and with one impetus of frenzy more, I should be able
47to do nothing with him. The present--the passing second of time--was all I had in which to control and restrain him: a
48movement of repulsion, flight, fear would have sealed my doom,--and his. But I was not afraid: not in the least. I felt
49an inward power; a sense of influence, which supported me. The crisis was perilous; but not without its charm: such as
50the Indian, perhaps, feels when he slips over the rapid in his canoe. I took hold of his clenched hand, loosened the
51contorted fingers, and said to him, soothingly-- "Sit down; I'll talk to you as long as you like, and hear all you have
52to say, whether reasonable or unreasonable." He sat down: but he did not get leave to speak directly. I had been
53struggling with tears for some time: I had taken great pains to repress them, because I knew he would not like to see me
54weep. Now, however, I considered it well to let them flow as freely and as long as they liked. If the flood annoyed him,
55so much the better. So I gave way and cried heartily. Soon I heard him earnestly entreating me to be composed. I said I
56could not while he was in such a passion. "But I am not angry, Jane: I only love you too well; and you had steeled your
57little pale face with such a resolute, frozen look, I could not endure it. Hush, now, and wipe your eyes." His softened
58voice announced that he was subdued; so I, in my turn, became calm. Now he made an effort to rest his head on my
59shoulder, but I would not permit it. Then he would draw me to him: no. "Jane! Jane!" he said, in such an accent of
60bitter sadness it thrilled along every nerve I had; "you don't love me, then? It was only my station, and the rank of my
61wife, that you valued? Now that you think me disqualified to become your husband, you recoil from my touch as if I were
62some toad or ape." These words cut me: yet what could I do or I say? I ought probably to have done or said nothing; but
63I was so tortured by a sense of remorse at thus hurting his feelings, I could not control the wish to drop balm where I
64had wounded. "I do love you," I said, "more than ever: but I must not show or indulge the feeling: and this is the last
65time I must express it." "The last time, Jane! What! do you think you can live with me, and see me daily, and yet, if
66you still love me, be always cold and distant?"
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