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1He felt strong enough to clear out the whole office singlehanded. His body ached to do something, to rush out and revel
2in violence. All the indignities of his life enraged him.... Could he ask the cashier privately for an advance? No, the
3cashier was no good, no damn good: he wouldn't give an advance.... He knew where he would meet the boys: Leonard and
4O'Halloran and Nosey Flynn. The barometer of his emotional nature was set for a spell of riot. His imagination had so
5abstracted him that his name was called twice before he answered. Mr Alleyne and Miss Delacour were standing outside the
6counter and all the clerks had turned round in anticipation of something. The man got up from his desk. Mr Alleyne began
7a tirade of abuse, saying that two letters were missing. The man answered that he knew nothing about them, that he had
8made a faithful copy. The tirade continued: it was so bitter and violent that the man could hardly restrain his fist
9from descending upon the head of the manikin before him: "I know nothing about any other two letters," he said stupidly.
10"You--know--nothing. Of course you know nothing," said Mr Alleyne. "Tell me," he added, glancing first for approval to
11the lady beside him, "do you take me for a fool? Do you think me an utter fool?" The man glanced from the lady's face to
12the little egg-shaped head and back again; and, almost before he was aware of it, his tongue had found a felicitous
13moment: "I don't think, sir," he said, "that that's a fair question to put to me." There was a pause in the very
14breathing of the clerks. Everyone was astounded (the author of the witticism no less than his neighbours) and Miss
15Delacour, who was a stout amiable person, began to smile broadly. Mr Alleyne flushed to the hue of a wild rose and his
16mouth twitched with a dwarf's passion. He shook his fist in the man's face till it seemed to vibrate like the knob of
17some electric machine: "You impertinent ruffian! You impertinent ruffian! I'll make short work of you! Wait till you
18see! You'll apologise to me for your impertinence or you'll quit the office instanter! You'll quit this, I'm telling
19you, or you'll apologise to me!" He stood in a doorway opposite the office watching to see if the cashier would come out
20alone. All the clerks passed out and finally the cashier came out with the chief clerk. It was no use trying to say a
21word to him when he was with the chief clerk. The man felt that his position was bad enough. He had been obliged to
22offer an abject apology to Mr Alleyne for his impertinence but he knew what a hornet's nest the office would be for him.
23He could remember the way in which Mr Alleyne had hounded little Peake out of the office in order to make room for his
24own nephew. He felt savage and thirsty and revengeful, annoyed with himself and with everyone else. Mr Alleyne would
25never give him an hour's rest; his life would be a hell to him. He had made a proper fool of himself this time. Could he
26not keep his tongue in his cheek? But they had never pulled together from the first, he and Mr Alleyne, ever since the
27day Mr Alleyne had overheard him mimicking his North of Ireland accent to amuse Higgins and Miss Parker: that had been
28the beginning of it. He might have tried Higgins for the money, but sure Higgins never had anything for himself. A man
29with two establishments to keep up, of course he couldn't.... He felt his great body again aching for the comfort of the
30public-house. The fog had begun to chill him and he wondered could he touch Pat in O'Neill's. He could not touch him for
31more than a bob--and a bob was no use. Yet he must get money somewhere or other: he had spent his last penny for the
32g.p. and soon it would be too late for getting money anywhere. Suddenly, as he was fingering his watch-chain, he thought
33of Terry Kelly's pawn-office in Fleet Street. That was the dart! Why didn't he think of it sooner? He went through the
34narrow alley of Temple Bar quickly, muttering to himself that they could all go to hell because he was going to have a
35good night of it. The clerk in Terry Kelly's said A crown! but the consignor held out for six shillings; and in the end
36the six shillings was allowed him literally. He came out of the pawn-office joyfully, making a little cylinder, of the
37coins between his thumb and fingers. In Westmoreland Street the footpaths were crowded with young men and women
38returning from business and ragged urchins ran here and there yelling out the names of the evening editions. The man
39passed through the crowd, looking on the spectacle generally with proud satisfaction and staring masterfully at the
40office-girls. His head was full of the noises of tram-gongs and swishing trolleys and his nose already sniffed the
41curling fumes of punch. As he walked on he preconsidered the terms in which he would narrate the incident to the boys:
42"So, I just looked at him--coolly, you know, and looked at her. Then I looked back at him again--taking my time, you
43know. 'I don't think that that's a fair question to put to me,' says I." Nosey Flynn was sitting up in his usual corner
44of Davy Byrne's and, when he heard the story, he stood Farrington a half-one, saying it was as smart a thing as ever he
45heard. Farrington stood a drink in his turn. After a while O'Halloran and Paddy Leonard came in and the story was
46repeated to them. O'Halloran stood tailors of malt, hot, all round and told the story of the retort he had made to the
47chief clerk when he was in Callan's of Fownes's Street; but, as the retort was after the manner of the liberal shepherds
48in the eclogues, he had to admit that it was not as clever as Farrington's retort. At this Farrington told the boys to
49polish off that and have another. Just as they were naming their poisons who should come in but Higgins! Of course he
50had to join in with the others. The men asked him to give his version of it, and he did so with great vivacity for the
51sight of five small hot whiskies was very exhilarating. Everyone roared laughing when he showed the way in which Mr
52Alleyne shook his fist in Farrington's face. Then he imitated Farrington, saying, "And here was my nabs, as cool as you
53please," while Farrington looked at the company out of his heavy dirty eyes, smiling and at times drawing forth stray
54drops of liquor from his moustache with the aid of his lower lip. When that round was over there was a pause. O'Halloran
55had money but neither of the other two seemed to have any; so the whole party left the shop somewhat regretfully. At the
56corner of Duke Street Higgins and Nosey Flynn bevelled off to the left while the other three turned back towards the
57city. Rain was drizzling down on the cold streets and, when they reached the Ballast Office, Farrington suggested the
58Scotch House. The bar was full of men and loud with the noise of tongues and glasses. The three men pushed past the
59whining match-sellers at the door and formed a little party at the corner of the counter. They began to exchange
60stories. Leonard introduced them to a young fellow named Weathers who was performing at the Tivoli as an acrobat and
61knockabout artiste. Farrington stood a drink all round. Weathers said he would take a small Irish and Apollinaris.
62Farrington, who had definite notions of what was what, asked the boys would they have an Apollinaris too; but the boys
63told Tim to make theirs hot. The talk became theatrical. O'Halloran stood a round and then Farrington stood another
64round, Weathers protesting that the hospitality was too Irish. He promised to get them in behind the scenes and
65introduce them to some nice girls. O'Halloran said that he and Leonard would go, but that Farrington wouldn't go because
66he was a married man; and Farrington's heavy dirty eyes leered at the company in token that he understood he was being
67chaffed. Weathers made them all have just one little tincture at his expense and promised to meet them later on at
68Mulligan's in Poolbeg Street.
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