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1"Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The
2first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister,--and the
3other, that I had, in defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity
4and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham. Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth, the
5acknowledged favourite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and who
6had been brought up to expect its exertion, would be a depravity, to which the separation of two young persons whose
7affection could be the growth of only a few weeks, could bear no comparison. But from the severity of that blame which
8was last night so liberally bestowed, respecting each circumstance, I shall hope to be in future secured, when the
9following account of my actions and their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them which is due to myself,
10I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry. The
11necessity must be obeyed, and further apology would be absurd. I had not been long in Hertfordshire before I saw, in
12common with others, that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not
13till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had
14often seen him in love before. At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with you, I was first made acquainted, by
15Sir William Lucas's accidental information, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general
16expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided. From that
17moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was
18beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and
19engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard; and I remained convinced, from the evening's scrutiny,
20that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. If you
21have not been mistaken here, I must have been in an error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter
22probable. If it be so, if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been
23unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as
24might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be
25easily touched. That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain; but I will venture to say that my
26investigations and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be indifferent
27because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason. My objections to the
28marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have required the utmost force of passion to put aside
29in my own case; the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me. But there were other causes
30of repugnance; causes which, though still existing, and existing to an equal degree in both instances, I had myself
31endeavoured to forget, because they were not immediately before me. These causes must be stated, though briefly. The
32situation of your mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so
33frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your
34father:--pardon me,--it pains me to offend you. But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and
35your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that to have conducted
36yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest
37sister than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both. I will only say, farther, that from what passed that
38evening my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have led me before to
39preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection. He left Netherfield for London on the day following,
40as you, I am certain, remember, with the design of soon returning. The part which I acted is now to be explained. His
41sisters' uneasiness had been equally excited with my own: our coincidence of feeling was soon discovered; and, alike
42sensible that no time was to be lost in detaching their brother, we shortly resolved on joining him directly in London.
43We accordingly went--and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a
44choice. I described and enforced them earnestly. But however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed his
45determination, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage, had it not been seconded by the
46assurance, which I hesitated not in giving, of your sister's indifference. He had before believed her to return his
47affection with sincere, if not with equal, regard. But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on
48my judgment than on his own. To convince him, therefore, that he had deceived himself was no very difficult point. To
49persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire, when that conviction had been given, was scarcely the work of a
50moment. I cannot blame myself for having done thus much. There is but one part of my conduct, in the whole affair, on
51which I do not reflect with satisfaction; it is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art so far as to conceal
52from him your sister's being in town. I knew it myself, as it was known to Miss Bingley; but her brother is even yet
53ignorant of it. That they might have met without ill consequence is, perhaps, probable; but his regard did not appear to
54me enough extinguished for him to see her without some danger. Perhaps this concealment, this disguise, was beneath me.
55It is done, however, and it was done for the best. On this subject I have nothing more to say, no other apology to
56offer.
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