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1"As I read, however, I applied much personally to my own feelings and condition. I found myself similar yet at the same
2time strangely unlike to the beings concerning whom I read and to whose conversation I was a listener. I sympathised
3with and partly understood them, but I was unformed in mind; I was dependent on none and related to none. 'The path of
4my departure was free,' and there was none to lament my annihilation. My person was hideous and my stature gigantic.
5What did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? These questions continually
6recurred, but I was unable to solve them. "The volume of Plutarch's Lives which I possessed contained the histories of
7the first founders of the ancient republics. This book had a far different effect upon me from the Sorrows of Werter. I
8learned from Werter's imaginations despondency and gloom, but Plutarch taught me high thoughts; he elevated me above the
9wretched sphere of my own reflections, to admire and love the heroes of past ages. Many things I read surpassed my
10understanding and experience. I had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms, wide extents of country, mighty rivers, and
11boundless seas. But I was perfectly unacquainted with towns and large assemblages of men. The cottage of my protectors
12had been the only school in which I had studied human nature, but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action.
13I read of men concerned in public affairs, governing or massacring their species. I felt the greatest ardour for virtue
14rise within me, and abhorrence for vice, as far as I understood the signification of those terms, relative as they were,
15as I applied them, to pleasure and pain alone. Induced by these feelings, I was of course led to admire peaceable
16lawgivers, Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus, in preference to Romulus and Theseus. The patriarchal lives of my protectors
17caused these impressions to take a firm hold on my mind; perhaps, if my first introduction to humanity had been made by
18a young soldier, burning for glory and slaughter, I should have been imbued with different sensations. "But Paradise
19Lost excited different and far deeper emotions. I read it, as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my
20hands, as a true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent God warring with
21his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my
22own. Like Adam, I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but his state was far different from
23mine in every other respect. He had come forth from the hands of God a perfect creature, happy and prosperous, guarded
24by the especial care of his Creator; he was allowed to converse with and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior
25nature, but I was wretched, helpless, and alone. Many times I considered Satan as the fitter emblem of my condition, for
26often, like him, when I viewed the bliss of my protectors, the bitter gall of envy rose within me. "Another circumstance
27strengthened and confirmed these feelings. Soon after my arrival in the hovel I discovered some papers in the pocket of
28the dress which I had taken from your laboratory. At first I had neglected them, but now that I was able to decipher the
29characters in which they were written, I began to study them with diligence. It was your journal of the four months that
30preceded my creation. You minutely described in these papers every step you took in the progress of your work; this
31history was mingled with accounts of domestic occurrences. You doubtless recollect these papers. Here they are.
32Everything is related in them which bears reference to my accursed origin; the whole detail of that series of disgusting
33circumstances which produced it is set in view; the minutest description of my odious and loathsome person is given, in
34language which painted your own horrors and rendered mine indelible. I sickened as I read. 'Hateful day when I received
35life!' I exclaimed in agony. 'Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in
36disgust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more
37horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but I am
38solitary and abhorred.' "These were the reflections of my hours of despondency and solitude; but when I contemplated the
39virtues of the cottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, I persuaded myself that when they should become
40acquainted with my admiration of their virtues they would compassionate me and overlook my personal deformity. Could
41they turn from their door one, however monstrous, who solicited their compassion and friendship? I resolved, at least,
42not to despair, but in every way to fit myself for an interview with them which would decide my fate. I postponed this
43attempt for some months longer, for the importance attached to its success inspired me with a dread lest I should fail.
44Besides, I found that my understanding improved so much with every day's experience that I was unwilling to commence
45this undertaking until a few more months should have added to my sagacity. "Several changes, in the meantime, took place
46in the cottage. The presence of Safie diffused happiness among its inhabitants, and I also found that a greater degree
47of plenty reigned there. Felix and Agatha spent more time in amusement and conversation, and were assisted in their
48labours by servants. They did not appear rich, but they were contented and happy; their feelings were serene and
49peaceful, while mine became every day more tumultuous. Increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a
50wretched outcast I was. I cherished hope, it is true, but it vanished when I beheld my person reflected in water or my
51shadow in the moonshine, even as that frail image and that inconstant shade. "I endeavoured to crush these fears and to
52fortify myself for the trial which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my thoughts, unchecked
53by reason, to ramble in the fields of Paradise, and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathising with my
54feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed smiles of consolation. But it was all a dream; no
55Eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam's supplication to his Creator. But where
56was mine? He had abandoned me, and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him. "Autumn passed thus. I saw, with surprise
57and grief, the leaves decay and fall, and nature again assume the barren and bleak appearance it had worn when I first
58beheld the woods and the lovely moon. Yet I did not heed the bleakness of the weather; I was better fitted by my
59conformation for the endurance of cold than heat. But my chief delights were the sight of the flowers, the birds, and
60all the gay apparel of summer; when those deserted me, I turned with more attention towards the cottagers. Their
61happiness was not decreased by the absence of summer. They loved and sympathised with one another; and their joys,
62depending on each other, were not interrupted by the casualties that took place around them. The more I saw of them, the
63greater became my desire to claim their protection and kindness; my heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable
64creatures; to see their sweet looks directed towards me with affection was the utmost limit of my ambition. I dared not
65think that they would turn them from me with disdain and horror. The poor that stopped at their door were never driven
66away. I asked, it is true, for greater treasures than a little food or rest: I required kindness and sympathy; but I did
67not believe myself utterly unworthy of it. "The winter advanced, and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken place
68since I awoke into life. My attention at this time was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the
69cottage of my protectors. I revolved many projects, but that on which I finally fixed was to enter the dwelling when the
70blind old man should be alone. I had sagacity enough to discover that the unnatural hideousness of my person was the
71chief object of horror with those who had formerly beheld me. My voice, although harsh, had nothing terrible in it; I
72thought, therefore, that if in the absence of his children I could gain the good will and mediation of the old De Lacey,
73I might by his means be tolerated by my younger protectors.
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