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1Advice from a Caterpillar The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the
2Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. "Who are you?" said the
3Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know,
4sir, just at present--at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several
5times since then." "What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar sternly. "Explain yourself!" "I can't explain
6myself, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see." "I don't see," said the Caterpillar. "I'm
7afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied very politely, "for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
8being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing." "It isn't," said the Caterpillar. "Well, perhaps you haven't
9found it so yet," said Alice; "but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after
10that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?" "Not a bit," said the Caterpillar.
11"Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," said Alice; "all I know is, it would feel very queer to me." "You!" said
12the Caterpillar contemptuously. "Who are you?" Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice
13felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very
14gravely, "I think, you ought to tell me who you are, first." "Why?" said the Caterpillar. Here was another puzzling
15question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant
16state of mind, she turned away. "Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. "I've something important to say!" This
17sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. "Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. "Is that all?"
18said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could. "No," said the Caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well
19wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes
20it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, "So
21you think you're changed, do you?" "I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can't remember things as I used--and I don't
22keep the same size for ten minutes together!" "Can't remember what things?" said the Caterpillar. "Well, I've tried to
23say "How doth the little busy bee," but it all came different!" Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. "Repeat, 'You
24are old, Father William,'" said the Caterpillar. Alice folded her hands, and began:-- "You are old, Father William," the
25young man said, "And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- Do you think, at your
26age, it is right?" "In my youth," Father William replied to his son, "I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that
27I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
28And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?"
29"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this
30ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?" "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too
31weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- Pray, how did you manage
32to do it?" "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular
33strength, which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life." "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly
34suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully
35clever?" "I have answered three questions, and that is enough," Said his father; "don't give yourself airs! Do you think
36I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!" "That is not said right," said the
37Caterpillar. "Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice, timidly; "some of the words have got altered." "It is wrong from
38beginning to end," said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. The Caterpillar was the first
39to speak. "What size do you want to be?" it asked. "Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; "only one
40doesn't like changing so often, you know." "I don't know," said the Caterpillar. Alice said nothing: she had never been
41so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. "Are you content now?" said the
42Caterpillar. "Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind," said Alice: "three inches is such a
43wretched height to be." "It is a very good height indeed!" said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it
44spoke (it was exactly three inches high). "But I'm not used to it!" pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she
45thought of herself, "I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!" "You'll get used to it in time," said the
46Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. This time Alice waited patiently until it
47chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and
48shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, "One side
49will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter." "One side of what? The other side of what?"
50thought Alice to herself. "Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another
51moment it was out of sight. Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which
52were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she
53stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. "And now which is
54which?" she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a
55violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
56she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the
57other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did
58it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. "Come, my head's free at last!" said Alice in a tone of
59delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she
60could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green
61leaves that lay far below her. "What can all that green stuff be?" said Alice. "And where have my shoulders got to? And
62oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?" She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow,
63except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
64head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any
65direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in
66among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a
67sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its
68wings. "Serpent!" screamed the Pigeon. "I'm not a serpent!" said Alice indignantly. "Let me alone!"
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