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1"Call this a govment! why, just look at it and see what it's like. Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son
2away from him--a man's own son, which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and all the expense of raising.
3Yes, just as that man has got that son raised at last, and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for him and give
4him a rest, the law up and goes for him. And they call that govment! That ain't all, nuther. The law backs that old
5Judge Thatcher up and helps him to keep me out o' my property. Here's what the law does: The law takes a man worth six
6thousand dollars and up'ards, and jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this, and lets him go round in clothes that
7ain't fitten for a hog. They call that govment! A man can't get his rights in a govment like this. Sometimes I've a
8mighty notion to just leave the country for good and all. Yes, and I told 'em so; I told old Thatcher so to his face.
9Lots of 'em heard me, and can tell what I said. Says I, for two cents I'd leave the blamed country and never come a-near
10it agin. Them's the very words. I says look at my hat--if you call it a hat--but the lid raises up and the rest of it
11goes down till it's below my chin, and then it ain't rightly a hat at all, but more like my head was shoved up through a
12jint o' stove-pipe. Look at it, says I--such a hat for me to wear--one of the wealthiest men in this town if I could git
13my rights. "Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why, looky here. There was a free nigger there from Ohio--a
14mulatter, most as white as a white man. He had the whitest shirt on you ever see, too, and the shiniest hat; and there
15ain't a man in that town that's got as fine clothes as what he had; and he had a gold watch and chain, and a
16silver-headed cane--the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State. And what do you think? They said he was a p'fessor
17in a college, and could talk all kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that ain't the wust. They said he could
18vote when he was at home. Well, that let me out. Thinks I, what is the country a-coming to? It was 'lection day, and I
19was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get there; but when they told me there was a State in this
20country where they'd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says I'll never vote agin. Them's the very words I said; they
21all heard me; and the country may rot for all me--I'll never vote agin as long as I live. And to see the cool way of
22that nigger--why, he wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't shoved him out o' the way. I says to the people, why ain't
23this nigger put up at auction and sold?--that's what I want to know. And what do you reckon they said? Why, they said he
24couldn't be sold till he'd been in the State six months, and he hadn't been there that long yet. There, now--that's a
25specimen. They call that a govment that can't sell a free nigger till he's been in the State six months. Here's a
26govment that calls itself a govment, and lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a govment, and yet's got to set
27stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free nigger,
28and--" Pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was taking him to, so he went head over heels
29over the tub of salt pork and barked both shins, and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of language--mostly
30hove at the nigger and the govment, though he give the tub some, too, all along, here and there. He hopped around the
31cabin considerable, first on one leg and then on the other, holding first one shin and then the other one, and at last
32he let out with his left foot all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick. But it warn't good judgment, because
33that was the boot that had a couple of his toes leaking out of the front end of it; so now he raised a howl that fairly
34made a body's hair raise, and down he went in the dirt, and rolled there, and held his toes; and the cussing he done
35then laid over anything he had ever done previous. He said so his own self afterwards. He had heard old Sowberry Hagan
36in his best days, and he said it laid over him, too; but I reckon that was sort of piling it on, maybe. After supper pap
37took the jug, and said he had enough whisky there for two drunks and one delirium tremens. That was always his word. I
38judged he would be blind drunk in about an hour, and then I would steal the key, or saw myself out, one or t'other. He
39drank and drank, and tumbled down on his blankets by-and-by; but luck didn't run my way. He didn't go sound asleep, but
40was uneasy. He groaned and moaned and thrashed around this way and that for a long time. At last I got so sleepy I
41couldn't keep my eyes open all I could do, and so before I knowed what I was about I was sound asleep, and the candle
42burning. I don't know how long I was asleep, but all of a sudden there was an awful scream and I was up. There was pap
43looking wild, and skipping around every which way and yelling about snakes. He said they was crawling up his legs; and
44then he would give a jump and scream, and say one had bit him on the cheek--but I couldn't see no snakes. He started and
45run round and round the cabin, hollering "Take him off! take him off! he's biting me on the neck!" I never see a man
46look so wild in the eyes. Pretty soon he was all fagged out, and fell down panting; then he rolled over and over
47wonderful fast, kicking things every which way, and striking and grabbing at the air with his hands, and screaming and
48saying there was devils a-hold of him. He wore out by-and-by, and laid still a while, moaning. Then he laid stiller, and
49didn't make a sound. I could hear the owls and the wolves away off in the woods, and it seemed terrible still. He was
50laying over by the corner. By-and-by he raised up part way and listened, with his head to one side. He says, very low:
51"Tramp--tramp--tramp; that's the dead; tramp--tramp--tramp; they're coming after me; but I won't go. Oh, they're here!
52don't touch me--don't! hands off--they're cold; let go. Oh, let a poor devil alone!" Then he went down on all fours and
53crawled off, begging them to let him alone, and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the old pine
54table, still a-begging; and then he went to crying. I could hear him through the blanket. By-and-by he rolled out and
55jumped up on his feet looking wild, and he see me and went for me. He chased me round and round the place with a
56clasp-knife, calling me the Angel of Death, and saying he would kill me, and then I couldn't come for him no more. I
57begged, and told him I was only Huck; but he laughed such a screechy laugh, and roared and cussed, and kept on chasing
58me up. Once when I turned short and dodged under his arm he made a grab and got me by the jacket between my shoulders,
59and I thought I was gone; but I slid out of the jacket quick as lightning, and saved myself. Pretty soon he was all
60tired out, and dropped down with his back against the door, and said he would rest a minute and then kill me. He put his
61knife under him, and said he would sleep and get strong, and then he would see who was who. So he dozed off pretty soon.
62By-and-by I got the old split-bottom chair and clumb up as easy as I could, not to make any noise, and got down the gun.
63I slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded, then I laid it across the turnip barrel, pointing towards pap,
64and set down behind it to wait for him to stir. And how slow and still the time did drag along.
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