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1It was after sun-up now, but we went right on and didn't tie up. The king and the duke turned out by-and-by looking
2pretty rusty; but after they'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal. After breakfast the
3king he took a seat on the corner of the raft, and pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches, and let his legs
4dangle in the water, so as to be comfortable, and lit his pipe, and went to getting his Romeo and Juliet by heart. When
5he had got it pretty good, him and the duke begun to practice it together. The duke had to learn him over and over again
6how to say every speech; and he made him sigh, and put his hand on his heart, and after a while he said he done it
7pretty well; "only," he says, "you mustn't bellow out Romeo! that way, like a bull--you must say it soft and sick and
8languishy, so--R-o-o-meo! that is the idea; for Juliet's a dear sweet mere child of a girl, you know, and she doesn't
9bray like a jackass." Well, next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of oak laths, and begun to
10practice the sword fight--the duke called himself Richard III.; and the way they laid on and pranced around the raft was
11grand to see. But by-and-by the king tripped and fell overboard, and after that they took a rest, and had a talk about
12all kinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river. After dinner the duke says: "Well, Capet, we'll want
13to make this a first-class show, you know, so I guess we'll add a little more to it. We want a little something to
14answer encores with, anyway." "What's onkores, Bilgewater?" The duke told him, and then says: "I'll answer by doing the
15Highland fling or the sailor's hornpipe; and you--well, let me see--oh, I've got it--you can do Hamlet's soliloquy."
16"Hamlet's which?" "Hamlet's soliloquy, you know; the most celebrated thing in Shakespeare. Ah, it's sublime, sublime!
17Always fetches the house. I haven't got it in the book--I've only got one volume--but I reckon I can piece it out from
18memory. I'll just walk up and down a minute, and see if I can call it back from recollection's vaults." So he went to
19marching up and down, thinking, and frowning horrible every now and then; then he would hoist up his eyebrows; next he
20would squeeze his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan; next he would sigh, and next he'd let on to
21drop a tear. It was beautiful to see him. By-and-by he got it. He told us to give attention. Then he strikes a most
22noble attitude, with one leg shoved forwards, and his arms stretched away up, and his head tilted back, looking up at
23the sky; and then he begins to rip and rave and grit his teeth; and after that, all through his speech, he howled, and
24spread around, and swelled up his chest, and just knocked the spots out of any acting ever I see before. This is the
25speech--I learned it, easy enough, while he was learning it to the king: To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin
26That makes calamity of so long life; For who would fardels bear, till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane, But that the
27fear of something after death Murders the innocent sleep, Great nature's second course, And makes us rather sling the
28arrows of outrageous fortune Than fly to others that we know not of. There's the respect must give us pause: Wake Duncan
29with thy knocking! I would thou couldst; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the
30proud man's contumely, The law's delay, and the quietus which his pangs might take. In the dead waste and middle of the
31night, when churchyards yawn In customary suits of solemn black, But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no
32traveler returns, Breathes forth contagion on the world, And thus the native hue of resolution, like the poor cat i' the
33adage, Is sicklied o'er with care. And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops, With this regard their currents
34turn awry, And lose the name of action. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope
35not thy ponderous and marble jaws. But get thee to a nunnery--go! Well, the old man he liked that speech, and he mighty
36soon got it so he could do it first rate. It seemed like he was just born for it; and when he had his hand in and was
37excited, it was perfectly lovely the way he would rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off. The first
38chance we got, the duke he had some show bills printed; and after that, for two or three days as we floated along, the
39raft was a most uncommon lively place, for there warn't nothing but sword-fighting and rehearsing--as the duke called
40it--going on all the time. One morning, when we was pretty well down the State of Arkansaw, we come in sight of a little
41one-horse town in a big bend; so we tied up about three-quarters of a mile above it, in the mouth of a crick which was
42shut in like a tunnel by the cypress trees, and all of us but Jim took the canoe and went down there to see if there was
43any chance in that place for our show. We struck it mighty lucky; there was going to be a circus there that afternoon,
44and the country people was already beginning to come in, in all kinds of old shackly wagons, and on horses. The circus
45would leave before night, so our show would have a pretty good chance. The duke he hired the court house, and we went
46around and stuck up our bills. They read like this: Shaksperean Revival!!! Wonderful Attraction! For One Night Only! The
47world renowned tragedians, David Garrick the younger, of Drury Lane Theatre, London, and Edmund Kean the elder, of the
48Royal Haymarket Theatre, Whitechapel, Pudding Lane, Piccadilly, London, and the Royal Continental Theatres, in their
49sublime Shaksperean Spectacle entitled The Balcony Scene in Romeo and Juliet!!!
50Romeo...................................... Mr. Garrick. Juliet..................................... Mr. Kean. Assisted
51by the whole strength of the company! New costumes, new scenery, new appointments! Also: The thrilling, masterly, and
52blood-curdling Broad-sword conflict In Richard III.!!! Richard III................................ Mr. Garrick.
53Richmond................................... Mr. Kean. also: (by special request,) Hamlet's Immortal Soliloquy!! By the
54Illustrious Kean! Done by him 300 consecutive nights in Paris! For One Night Only, On account of imperative European
55engagements! Admission 25 cents; children and servants, 10 cents. Then we went loafing around the town. The stores and
56houses was most all old shackly dried-up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted; they was set up three or four
57foot above ground on stilts, so as to be out of reach of the water when the river was overflowed. The houses had little
58gardens around them, but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything in them but jimpson weeds, and sunflowers, and
59ash-piles, and old curled-up boots and shoes, and pieces of bottles, and rags, and played-out tin-ware. The fences was
60made of different kinds of boards, nailed on at different times; and they leaned every which-way, and had gates that
61didn't generly have but one hinge--a leather one. Some of the fences had been whitewashed, some time or another, but the
62duke said it was in Clumbus's time, like enough. There was generly hogs in the garden, and people driving them out. All
63the stores was along one street. They had white domestic awnings in front, and the country people hitched their horses
64to the awning-posts. There was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings, and loafers roosting on them all day long,
65whittling them with their Barlow knives; and chawing tobacco, and gaping and yawning and stretching--a mighty ornery
66lot. They generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella, but didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats, they
67called one another Bill, and Buck, and Hank, and Joe, and Andy, and talked lazy and drawly, and used considerable many
68cuss words. There was as many as one loafer leaning up against every awning-post, and he most always had his hands in
69his britches-pockets, except when he fetched them out to lend a chaw of tobacco or scratch. What a body was hearing
70amongst them all the time was: "Gimme a chaw 'v tobacker, Hank." "Cain't; I hain't got but one chaw left. Ask Bill."
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