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1They was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along, and a nice-looking younger one, with his right arm in a
2sling. And, my souls, how the people yelled and laughed, and kept it up. But I didn't see no joke about it, and I judged
3it would strain the duke and the king some to see any. I reckoned they'd turn pale. But no, nary a pale did they turn.
4The duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up, but just went a goo-gooing around, happy and satisfied, like a jug
5that's googling out buttermilk; and as for the king, he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful on them new-comers like it
6give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world. Oh, he done it
7admirable. Lots of the principal people gethered around the king, to let him see they was on his side. That old
8gentleman that had just come looked all puzzled to death. Pretty soon he begun to speak, and I see straight off he
9pronounced like an Englishman--not the king's way, though the king's was pretty good for an imitation. I can't give the
10old gent's words, nor I can't imitate him; but he turned around to the crowd, and says, about like this: "This is a
11surprise to me which I wasn't looking for; and I'll acknowledge, candid and frank, I ain't very well fixed to meet it
12and answer it; for my brother and me has had misfortunes; he's broke his arm, and our baggage got put off at a town
13above here last night in the night by a mistake. I am Peter Wilks' brother Harvey, and this is his brother William,
14which can't hear nor speak--and can't even make signs to amount to much, now't he's only got one hand to work them with.
15We are who we say we are; and in a day or two, when I get the baggage, I can prove it. But up till then I won't say
16nothing more, but go to the hotel and wait." So him and the new dummy started off; and the king he laughs, and blethers
17out: "Broke his arm--very likely, ain't it?--and very convenient, too, for a fraud that's got to make signs, and ain't
18learnt how. Lost their baggage! That's mighty good!--and mighty ingenious--under the circumstances!" So he laughed
19again; and so did everybody else, except three or four, or maybe half a dozen. One of these was that doctor; another one
20was a sharp-looking gentleman, with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made out of carpet-stuff, that had just come
21off of the steamboat and was talking to him in a low voice, and glancing towards the king now and then and nodding their
22heads--it was Levi Bell, the lawyer that was gone up to Louisville; and another one was a big rough husky that come
23along and listened to all the old gentleman said, and was listening to the king now. And when the king got done this
24husky up and says: "Say, looky here; if you are Harvey Wilks, when'd you come to this town?" "The day before the
25funeral, friend," says the king. "But what time o' day?" "In the evenin'--'bout an hour er two before sundown." "How'd
26you come?" "I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati." "Well, then, how'd you come to be up at the Pint in the
27mornin'--in a canoe?" "I warn't up at the Pint in the mornin'." "It's a lie." Several of them jumped for him and begged
28him not to talk that way to an old man and a preacher. "Preacher be hanged, he's a fraud and a liar. He was up at the
29Pint that mornin'. I live up there, don't I? Well, I was up there, and he was up there. I see him there. He come in a
30canoe, along with Tim Collins and a boy." The doctor he up and says: "Would you know the boy again if you was to see
31him, Hines?" "I reckon I would, but I don't know. Why, yonder he is, now. I know him perfectly easy." It was me he
32pointed at. The doctor says: "Neighbors, I don't know whether the new couple is frauds or not; but if these two ain't
33frauds, I am an idiot, that's all. I think it's our duty to see that they don't get away from here till we've looked
34into this thing. Come along, Hines; come along, the rest of you. We'll take these fellows to the tavern and affront them
35with t'other couple, and I reckon we'll find out something before we get through." It was nuts for the crowd, though
36maybe not for the king's friends; so we all started. It was about sundown. The doctor he led me along by the hand, and
37was plenty kind enough, but he never let go my hand. We all got in a big room in the hotel, and lit up some candles, and
38fetched in the new couple. First, the doctor says: "I don't wish to be too hard on these two men, but I think they're
39frauds, and they may have complices that we don't know nothing about. If they have, won't the complices get away with
40that bag of gold Peter Wilks left? It ain't unlikely. If these men ain't frauds, they won't object to sending for that
41money and letting us keep it till they prove they're all right--ain't that so?" Everybody agreed to that. So I judged
42they had our gang in a pretty tight place right at the outstart. But the king he only looked sorrowful, and says:
43"Gentlemen, I wish the money was there, for I ain't got no disposition to throw anything in the way of a fair, open,
44out-and-out investigation o' this misable business; but, alas, the money ain't there; you k'n send and see, if you want
45to." "Where is it, then?" "Well, when my niece give it to me to keep for her I took and hid it inside o' the straw tick
46o' my bed, not wishin' to bank it for the few days we'd be here, and considerin' the bed a safe place, we not bein' used
47to niggers, and suppos'n' 'em honest, like servants in England. The niggers stole it the very next mornin' after I had
48went down stairs; and when I sold 'em I hadn't missed the money yit, so they got clean away with it. My servant here k'n
49tell you 'bout it, gentlemen." The doctor and several said "Shucks!" and I see nobody didn't altogether believe him. One
50man asked me if I see the niggers steal it. I said no, but I see them sneaking out of the room and hustling away, and I
51never thought nothing, only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my master and was trying to get away before he
52made trouble with them. That was all they asked me. Then the doctor whirls on me and says: "Are you English, too?" I
53says yes; and him and some others laughed, and said, "Stuff!" Well, then they sailed in on the general investigation,
54and there we had it, up and down, hour in, hour out, and nobody never said a word about supper, nor ever seemed to think
55about it--and so they kept it up, and kept it up; and it was the worst mixed-up thing you ever see. They made the king
56tell his yarn, and they made the old gentleman tell his'n; and anybody but a lot of prejudiced chuckleheads would a seen
57that the old gentleman was spinning truth and t'other one lies. And by-and-by they had me up to tell what I knowed. The
58king he give me a left-handed look out of the corner of his eye, and so I knowed enough to talk on the right side. I
59begun to tell about Sheffield, and how we lived there, and all about the English Wilkses, and so on; but I didn't get
60pretty fur till the doctor begun to laugh; and Levi Bell, the lawyer, says: "Set down, my boy; I wouldn't strain myself
61if I was you. I reckon you ain't used to lying, it don't seem to come handy; what you want is practice. You do it pretty
62awkward." I didn't care nothing for the compliment, but I was glad to be let off, anyway. The doctor he started to say
63something, and turns and says: "If you'd been in town at first, Levi Bell--" The king broke in and reached out his hand,
64and says: "Why, is this my poor dead brother's old friend that he's wrote so often about?"
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