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1Tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon, but he said we'd got to have it; so he took a think. When he
2had ciphered it out he told me how we was to do; then we went and waited around the spoon-basket till we see Aunt Sally
3coming, and then Tom went to counting the spoons and laying them out to one side, and I slid one of them up my sleeve,
4and Tom says: "Why, Aunt Sally, there ain't but nine spoons yet." She says: "Go 'long to your play, and don't bother me.
5I know better, I counted 'm myself." "Well, I've counted them twice, Aunty, and I can't make but nine." She looked out
6of all patience, but of course she come to count--anybody would. "I declare to gracious ther' ain't but nine!" she says.
7"Why, what in the world--plague take the things, I'll count 'm again." So I slipped back the one I had, and when she got
8done counting, she says: "Hang the troublesome rubbage, ther's ten now!" and she looked huffy and bothered both. But Tom
9says: "Why, Aunty, I don't think there's ten." "You numskull, didn't you see me count 'm?" "I know, but--" "Well, I'll
10count 'm again." So I smouched one, and they come out nine, same as the other time. Well, she was in a tearing way--just
11a-trembling all over, she was so mad. But she counted and counted till she got that addled she'd start to count in the
12basket for a spoon sometimes; and so, three times they come out right, and three times they come out wrong. Then she
13grabbed up the basket and slammed it across the house and knocked the cat galley-west; and she said cle'r out and let
14her have some peace, and if we come bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner she'd skin us. So we had the odd
15spoon, and dropped it in her apron-pocket whilst she was a-giving us our sailing orders, and Jim got it all right, along
16with her shingle nail, before noon. We was very well satisfied with this business, and Tom allowed it was worth twice
17the trouble it took, because he said now she couldn't ever count them spoons twice alike again to save her life; and
18wouldn't believe she'd counted them right if she did; and said that after she'd about counted her head off for the next
19three days he judged she'd give it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to ever count them any more. So we put
20the sheet back on the line that night, and stole one out of her closet; and kept on putting it back and stealing it
21again for a couple of days till she didn't know how many sheets she had any more, and she didn't care, and warn't
22a-going to bullyrag the rest of her soul out about it, and wouldn't count them again not to save her life; she druther
23die first. So we was all right now, as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and the candles, by the help of the calf
24and the rats and the mixed-up counting; and as to the candlestick, it warn't no consequence, it would blow over
25by-and-by. But that pie was a job; we had no end of trouble with that pie. We fixed it up away down in the woods, and
26cooked it there; and we got it done at last, and very satisfactory, too; but not all in one day; and we had to use up
27three wash-pans full of flour before we got through, and we got burnt pretty much all over, in places, and eyes put out
28with the smoke; because, you see, we didn't want nothing but a crust, and we couldn't prop it up right, and she would
29always cave in. But of course we thought of the right way at last--which was to cook the ladder, too, in the pie. So
30then we laid in with Jim the second night, and tore up the sheet all in little strings and twisted them together, and
31long before daylight we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with. We let on it took nine months to make it.
32And in the forenoon we took it down to the woods, but it wouldn't go into the pie. Being made of a whole sheet, that
33way, there was rope enough for forty pies if we'd a wanted them, and plenty left over for soup, or sausage, or anything
34you choose. We could a had a whole dinner. But we didn't need it. All we needed was just enough for the pie, and so we
35throwed the rest away. We didn't cook none of the pies in the wash-pan--afraid the solder would melt; but Uncle Silas he
36had a noble brass warming-pan which he thought considerable of, because it belonged to one of his ancesters with a long
37wooden handle that come over from England with William the Conqueror in the Mayflower or one of them early ships and was
38hid away up garret with a lot of other old pots and things that was valuable, not on account of being any account,
39because they warn't, but on account of them being relicts, you know, and we snaked her out, private, and took her down
40there, but she failed on the first pies, because we didn't know how, but she come up smiling on the last one. We took
41and lined her with dough, and set her in the coals, and loaded her up with rag rope, and put on a dough roof, and shut
42down the lid, and put hot embers on top, and stood off five foot, with the long handle, cool and comfortable, and in
43fifteen minutes she turned out a pie that was a satisfaction to look at. But the person that et it would want to fetch a
44couple of kags of toothpicks along, for if that rope ladder wouldn't cramp him down to business I don't know nothing
45what I'm talking about, and lay him in enough stomach-ache to last him till next time, too. Nat didn't look when we put
46the witch pie in Jim's pan; and we put the three tin plates in the bottom of the pan under the vittles; and so Jim got
47everything all right, and as soon as he was by himself he busted into the pie and hid the rope ladder inside of his
48straw tick, and scratched some marks on a tin plate and throwed it out of the window-hole.
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